Bliss on a Budget - Week #7

Giving Bliss

I am a giver - I know that sounds a little full of myself - but none the less, it is true - I am a giver. I think that I am a giver because I remember not having and how scary it can be to not have - I hate the feeling of not having enough. Now when I say enough, I mean enough money to keep the lights turned on or food to eat, etc. I have definitely been there.

When I was married to my first husband we lived on 30.00 a week for food. This was in 1991 and it was us and Keaton we were feeding on 30.00 a week - so as you can imagine we had some creativity when it came to making due - the first year of that marriage I would go down to my parents house for Sunday dinner- often on fumes and load up with canned products from their cupboards, and from their version of food storage - which is compared to the Johnson clan is pitiful. They never said a word - I am sure they noticed the cans of corn or soup go missing - but I was too proud and embarrassed to ask. I had made my bed - I was going to lie in it if it killed me. We were so poor that we could not afford a telephone (this was before everyone and their dog had a cell phone) and so I was stuck making collect calls at the pay phone by the corner of the apartment whose rent I could barely afford.I am sure we qualified for food stamps or something - but again - no dice - I was not going to do that.

Once again - I have to give credit where credit is due. I grew up in a family that seemed to have everything. This based on two things; First my father had a job that always supplied him with a new car, and a travel budget - so we could travel along on my fathers recruiting trips while also earning points to travel some more (I am a second generation Delta, Marriott, and Hertz member :) ) and also due in large part to my mother who could budget like no ones business. She had these little 3X5 cards that she would put the budget's on for the month - you know like food with $X amount of dollars and when the food budget was gone the food budget was gone - same with clothes, utilities etc. If it wasn't in the budget - we were generally not going to get it. She was also an excellent saver and a great balance to my father who, like me, is a spender. For those of you with a movie musical background - think Barbara Streisand as Dolly Levi - in Hello Dolly - This is me, in various ways.

Back to my giving ways - Since that time of meager beginnings - I have worked hard and put myself in a position that for the most part my worries relative to money are silly compared to many of the people in my life. I really am completely blessed - and I also have a very interesting relationship with money -knock on wood this doesn't jinx me - but I simply believe that whatever I am going to need is going to be there. This is not to be confused with just planning on the government, my family, or the universe to take care of me - It's just I know I am capable of making money - so when I need to make some money - I do.

Now Christmas is a particularly difficult time for me. This again goes back to my parents (sorry guys I don't mean to throw you under the bus) But when I was younger and when I say younger I mean I had a visit from Santa every year until I got married at 20. And Santa treated me very well. I had picture perfect Christmas's - with pajamas on Christmas eve (our one gift we were allowed to open - often made by my mother) and a morning of delight with nicely laid out piles of presents one for me, and one for Emily - and for the most part Santa got those presents just right - Often they would have presents we didn't even know we needed. The house would smell of wassail, and the lights would glow and we would take our time opening each gift and delighting in what each of had been given by the other folks who had sent presents our way. There would be a fire in the fireplace that my father would make sure and dispose of the wrapping paper - and that morning there would be no fighting, no crying, just peace and love. It breaks my heart that isn't how Christmas is for absolutely everyone on the planet.

Anyway - so I am giver, not just on Christmas but most of the time - because in some small way - there but for the grace of God go I - and you can't take it with you - and frankly when I give - even though it ends up making the person I am giving to happy or relieved or whatever - it truly makes me about 10 times happier then it makes them. So with all that said let me tell you what your assignment is this week regarding the bliss of giving.

You need to find 3 people and give them something - and here is the catch - it doesn't have to cost you anything. Maybe it's a compliment. I know when I give them out - they are so heartfelt and authentic that people really enjoy them (I think this is also because I tend to be hyper critical and set standards that are crazy high and unattainable) Maybe it is forgiveness - this is huge, I also have hard time with this - because when you have crossed me - it is next to impossible to get back in my light - but recently I gave forgiveness to someone (who probably had no idea they even needed it) but I felt 100% better. Maybe you sit next to someone in the lunch room or break room that doesn't have any friends and spend the 1/2 hour talking about them - Kennedy does a wonderful job at this - finding the misfit and fitting them. Maybe it is a love letter to your honey, your mother, your father you child telling them how great they are. Maybe like the mayor I am married to - you stop and pick up the hitchhiker - pull the car out of the snow - listen to the down on your luck story. But do your best to give this week, and see if you don't feel the bliss - This one comes with a money back guarantee!

Things that Matter #3 - Friendship Matters

I know I haven't written for 2 weeks but with the holidays, work, and blah, blah, blah - the truth is I am very busy and important ;) - anyway I just spent the weekend in Saint George with my mans softball team and I thought it might be time to write a little bit about friendship.

I am one of those people who doesn't have a lot of friends - this always amazes the people who think they know me because for heavens sakes Jenn - you're in sales - of course you have a lot of friends. Well I guess I should start by defining friendship - My friends are the people I can totally be myself with, who understand all my weirdness and instead of judging me or trying to fix me, really just get a kick out of me - and believe me - I pretend I am easy breezy, but I am a control freak! They are the people who I may have talked to yesterday or maybe 5 years ago - and it's like no time has passed. They live in Utah and various states around the country - and our connections are deep and immediate. They know what I am thinking before I have chance to think it, and I know the same for them - and when we get together we have an absolutely delightful time being in our strangeness. Intimacy defines our friendships - We "get" each other!

I am also one of those girls who doesn't have a lot of friendships with other girls - The reason for this is I don't like to get together to complain about and/or worship my husband. I don't scrapbook, swap recipes, exercise in groups, diet in groups - feel the need to shop together, play bunco, attend movies such as the Twilight series, Sex in the City or Mama Mia - I don't throw parties that are an excuse to sell things to my friends - I am in general not very interested in all things girl - I am however very interested in most things boy - So I find I have more male friends then female friends.

I am married to a man I like to call "the mayor" - and he has quite literally 100's of friends - So many in fact that regardless of where we go or what we are doing - we will see tons of people he knows - he often times can't recall at the moment who they are - he does know he knows them and they talk like no time has past - while I sit there and look interested and not embarrassed that I haven't been introduced. James is the kind of man who when he is friends he is friends and there is almost nothing he wouldn't do for his friends - He has been helped beyond measure at low points of his life and in his mind he has a moral duty to be that friend forever!

Over the last 2 weeks I have had 3 very intense friend experiences. First, one of my oldest and dearest friends came to stay with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. He is the closest thing in the world I have to a brother. When we are together we fall into step like peanut butter and jelly. It can be intimidating for others in our lives because we are that in sync. It is so lovely and therapeutic for me, and I often travel to his house to take a break from my real life and gain sanctuary from my troubles. He feeds my soul - and it was lovely to have a chance to return the favor. I love him from the tips of my toes, and now my children love him too, and my man is thrilled that I have that friendship in my life.

The second came when I went to Boise this past week to speak at a conference. I have a girlfriend there who I have known for 25 years - She and I haven't spoken in a year - and all I did was call her, and with that we were deep in conversation, analysis laughing - have our fix of being heard and hearing each other as well. She is deep in the fight/battle/ divorce - but for the night she could tell me "how it was" and I was able to really hear and feel her - and maybe even give her some comic relief. We left with a hug, and I call you later - which may be 6 months or 6 years from now - but we get it - no worries.

The final tale comes from my new adopted "kids" of Dirthouse. Oh my goodness I love them so much I can hardly stand it. They are new friends - and came by way of the mayor. When James and I got together 4+ years ago he told me 2 things when we became serious. 1 - he goes hunting every year for a week - so don't think that is going to change. 2- He plays softball on a some coed teams and that will take 2-3 nights a week - so be prepared for that. I could get my head around the first one - but the 2nd one I had no idea what that meant. I found out soon enough.

My first experience with softball came on the heels (literally) of working in Park City for the day. I came straight from work and was dressed in a black pin stripped pencil shirt, micro fishnets, 4 and 1/2 heels a creme sleeveless blouse with a large black pashmina, and big black Jackie-O sunglasses. I remember walking up to the ball field, feeling very uncomfortable, searching for James and hoping not to get into a situation I would have to get out of quickly - because in these shoes and skirt I was not moving fast. It was April - and spring ball had just started for the year, there was a coolness in the air, and the voices of friends finding each other after a few months off. Softball is a sub-culture that I knew nothing about - but they are a tight nit family regardless of the team - and the first week of softball is kind of like a family Reunion. I remember distinctly watching the woman softball players eyeing me, and giving each other looks like "check out this girl - what on earth is she wearing" - James was almost embarrassed because I was so over dressed and fancy - and he really wanted these same girls, this extended family, to like me.

I sat there during that first game watching James pitching, cheering when I thought it was appropriate - asking questions of the people who seemed friendly to figure out the rules, and generally just making it through - but that was just the first day - there have been 100's of games since then and now I am an old pro at the softball circuit. Cut to this last weekend when "Dirthouse" competing in the toys for tots tournament. We ended up coming in 2nd out of 84 teams - which is a slight miracle because of the start we had -but the important part was I got to the spend the weekend with my friends. These people are not just friends they are family - they stay with me when I act like a princess requesting my goat cheese on my pizzas, and staying at my hotel. They are okay when I scream my guts out at the ref or say weird things to the other team to get in their heads and make them swing at pitches they have no business swinging at. They tease me, and take care of me and indulge me when I try to run their love lives and give them job and life advise. They laugh at me and my pashmina, glasses, and my east side mentality - and they make me feel proud to be their friend. I know if anything happened they would have my back and I would have theirs.

I have a saying I live by "Like energy attracts like energy" and these friends are my like energy - they are my family, and when I am with them I feel like home. During this holiday season - thank you my dear friends for being in my life!!

Bliss on a Budget - Week 6

You have all heard the saying - "Ignorance is Bliss" - The the other saying that "Knowledge is Power." Well we are going to combine these two sayings and come up with our own saying today - "Knowledge is Bliss" - Let's discuss getting some Knowledge Bliss on a Budget.

I am the kind of kid that came out of the womb asking "why" you know those kind of kids - they drive you crazy with the "why" - "Why do we have to .....?" - "Why can't I....." when I was a kid my parents managed an apartment complex. It was one of those that was several stories high and built around a swimming pool in the middle (they (the owners) had to fill in the swimming pool with dirt and call it an atrium - because people kept jumping off the roof into the swimming pool) anyway - I was only 3 years old when we lived there - and yet I wanted to know all that was happening and the "whys" all around the apartments. So everyday - I got up, got dressed, and went around the apartments visiting all the residents and finding out the "whys" that were happening in my little world. My mother will be slightly mortified that I am telling this story - because who lets their 3 year old wander around an apartment complex visiting people who pay you rent - but you don't really know - it was a different time. I saw my first poker chips, beer cans, and various other things at this time. When I got done with this - I would attempt to escape the apartment and see the "whys"down the very busy dangerous street - giving my mother a heart attack.

The good news is I have great parents. They are all about the "whys" too - I was given the ability to travel all over the country and even the world - growing up - See museums, eating at famous restaurants (even if we could only afford to eat the lunch menu), gallery strolling in various places from London to Carmel from Rodeo Drive to Paris, France. But it's not all just the glamorous stuff - We have traveled Europe and America on $20.00 a day - This brings a whole new set of whys - cafeteria's, pubs, KOA campgrounds, side adventures that entail a little gambling - because there are 4 people to feed and only $5.00 left for the day - So maybe I put my money (all 1.25 of it) on dad in Elko and maybe he won in the casino - and maybe - although Patcee and Emily were against the plan - we shared our bounty with them as well. I was prepared to go hungry, but felt dad was lucky - and it paid off!

I am also lucky enough to have a man who brings whole new "whys" to the table. Since he came into my life, I have been to live stock auctions, (bought 2 horses and a cow) I have learned to shoot a gun, cut the hooves of a horse, bought a ripper at a farm auction, spread acres of manure - and bought my first pair of cowboy boots - I have sat court side, won the contests, seen the game, made a whole new set of wonderful friends. All because of "why"- and the accompanying "sure I'll try that" that comes with the "why". I have toured - to name a few - the Caterpillar Plant, The winery, the Beehive House - The planetarium, the aquarium, and the Church(s) -

When I was in Norwich, England trying to meet up with my Grandma Kay who was there (that is a story for another day) I was told by the people at the hotel - "oh you must tour the castle, and the cathedral" - so by myself in a foreign land - I walked into the town and did just that. After visiting the castle - I walked over to the cathedral - Well - I did not walk to the right entrance to tour the cathedral - and somehow I got involved in a baptism ceremony that was happening for some lovely folks joining The Church of England. Although it took me a moment to realize - when I was handed a program, and then started noticing that everyone was reading their yellow highlighted part - when it got to my highlighted part - I said my part loud and clear, and then we were standing up, and sitting, down walking to the candles, lighting the candles, and after a song our two there was lots of hugging (including me) and good happy feelings - I did my best to high tail it out of there after that.

The point of all this is - I want to know it all! It continues to amaze me every time I learn a new "why" that there is so much more - I don't know, haven't tried or seen, I don't even know what I don't know - and I can't wait to find it out. I travel a lot for work, and when I am not working - I travel a lot because to some extent I am a gypsy, and because I need to have more experiences and share that experience with the people I love. My children are the most curious people on the planet - They want to know why, my man, wants to know why - and so we are all a perfect match. I have some people in my life that have no desire to know "why" at first I tried to bring them experiences - some tried and then jumped on board my "why" wagon - some were scared of the "why" and continue to be happy in their lives as they are - simple and without significant interruption - and I have to say to myself "well I tried" and move on - because I have my own mission, and you never know when it will be over.

So here are my recommendations for Knowledge is Bliss - Take a moment and look in your town - I am sure there is something there you have never tried, maybe you drive by it all the time and think "we should...." Well you should - so do it. Maybe it's watching a foreign film about a culture or country you dream of going to (Life is Beautiful in Italian - in English is cheating - don't worry they have subtitles) maybe it is learning a new language - not because it is practical -because you always wanted to - Maybe you subscribe to a magazine with information that is not part of your daily fare. Go to the Library - They have everything there for FREE!

Just a quick note here - If you are Republican - turn off FOX - If you are a Democrat turn off MSNBC - both of these are just feeding you a steady diet of what you already are hungry for everyday - This is not information this is lazy talking points.

Maybe you will read a book about something that you never tried, maybe you will eat food you can barely get your head around, hike the mountain, try some yoga (this is part of my next - why) maybe you go to the zoo in the winter - no one is there and you can really just sit and be with the animals - But whatever it is - Do something this week that handles an outstanding "why" and see what new "whys" pop up.

Bliss on a Budget - Week #5

This week we are going to give your feet the bliss that they deserve. I take great pride in my feet - Anyone that knows me - know that I love shoes - I mean I love shoes. Now the difference between me and the ladies on the show Sex in the City - is that I love shoes because of how they make me feel inside my body. I could care less what brand they are, if they are the season's hot shoe, where they came from (I have at least 20 pairs of shoes from thrift stores that I paid less then 10.00 for) When I say inside my body - what I mean is nothing makes me feel more confident then the right pair of shoes.

Now I have specific criteria when it come to shoes that I will wear - Bear with me - this is not actually about shoes - I really one have only a few different types of shoes I will wear. If they are heels they must be 3 1/2 inches minimum (even my boots have this heel), and have a slim heel. This is because I really like my legs, and I like my walk (I know - brag much Jenn) and this high of a heel makes my legs and walk look best. If I am wearing flats - I will only wear flip flops - I don't like the way other shoes look on my feet - especially tennis shoes - They make my feet look so fat. The exception to all these rules are my cowboy boots - these are both functional, comfortable and most of all red - so they are sassy like me.

Okay with all that said - I am very feet aware. I always have my toes done because you never know when I will be wearing either flip flops - or open toed heels. Having my feet always done is actually only something that came about in probably the last 10 years - prior to that I had no feet fashion at all. In fact when I was 18 years old my friend Maralee had a house she rented with 3 other girls. The house was close to the "U" and central to everything - so most of our fun weekends started and ended at Maralee's.

One weekend, I have no idea what we were doing, but we had all come back to Maralee's and had essentially changed into sweats and started to chill out and watch TV or something - as such I had taken off a pair of boots I had been wearing all day along with my socks and had put them off to the side of the room. These boots were one of my only "cool" pair of shoes. I had gotten them on a sale - They were ESPRIT and were a pale lavender suede that came up to my lower calf (think Doc Martin's) - they laced up - and I thought I was completely lucky to have them. They were my "go to" boots. The problem with these boots is that they did not give your feet anyway to breath and I was not a girl who took really great care of her feet anyway - So as you can imagine if you did not really take great care - these boots would begin to stink - and so would your feet.

Well on this particular weekend - I think I had been at Maralee's for at least 1 night already - and so I didn't have a fresh pair of socks (it didn't occur to me to ask to borrow some) and so I was wearing the same socks and shoes for the second day in a row. After I took them off and set them to the side - I didn't give it another thought. Well Maralee had a roommate - Amy - Amy was completely sweet and we all loved her. She came home from where she worked and disappeared into her room, in a few minutes we saw her moving around, taking out the trash, vacuuming, etc. After awhile Maralee said - "Amy - What are you doing?" Amy feeling completely terrible comes out and talks to the group and says "Oh guys, I am so sorry! I have been cleaning and cleaning and that smell is still here - I am pretty sure it must be my room, but I can't make the smell go away" With that Maralee looks at me and says in her little Maralee voice "Gin - your feet and shoes smell to high heaven - take you shoes outside and go wash your feet" (Maralee was not one to worry about hurting my feelings :) ) I was so embarrassed and at that moment I vowed that I would never have stinky feet again. I am absolutely obsessed with my feet.

So I get pedicures - But it has only been for the last 10 years I have been able to afford to get them with such regularity. I get them once ever two weeks - and so my toes always look pretty and my feet always look good - I was actually once offered to be a foot model (But that is another story) And if you have never had a pedicure - you absolutely must - it is pure bliss.

Here is the deal with Pedicures - You must go to one of those places that is ran by the folks from Vietnam - they have a corner on the foot market. Second it is important to choose a place that not only have the chairs with the jetted tub you put your feet in but the chair must also massage as well. When I say Massage you must be vigilant - you're not looking for a chair that just vibrates - you are looking for a chair that actually has those hand feeling rollers that really dig in and work your back. You also must choose a place that has paraffin wax - all of these items should be available for no more then $35.00 - I get french nails - so mine is usually $5.00 more.

In Salt Lake - I would recommend PK Nails - by the old Cottonwood Mall. Getting a pedicure is pure bliss and can absolutely turn around any bad day. And that is our bliss on a budget moment this week!

Things that Matter #2 - Dinner Matters

This is another 2 for 1 week. So I will write my Things that Matter and then I will head over and give you Bliss on a budget.

I come from a family that had family dinner every single night of the week at 6:00 pm sharp. I think the reason for dinner being at that time - was my father got off work at about 5:30 pm every night, he would get in his little blue Porche, and drive the 10 - 15 minutes home and walk in the side door, over to my mother who was making last minute preparations for dinner and give her a hug and a kiss - Depending on what she was doing - this would irritate her a little - like "Tim, I am just finishing up....," and with that we would all settle in and have family dinner.

Because there were only 4 of us in the family we each would have our set jobs for dinner. Either my sister or I were setting the table, clearing the table, doing the dishes or putting them away. There is a wrong and right way to set a table and I can tell you we both now how to do it the "right" way. In fact when I am seated at a restaurant - especially one that gives you utensils wrapped up in a napkin - the first thing I do is unwrap them and put everything including my glass where it goes.
It did not matter if it was winter or summer (when often times we were out playing with kids in the neighborhood - when my mother would walk out the front door and yell - "Jennifer - time to come in for dinner") and although I may be mid play - I knew this was non negotiable - it was time for dinner.

We had a main dish, a vegetable, and a starch of some sort every night. My mother is brilliant when it comes to presentation - so everything on the plate complimented each other - even the color of the food and plates. There was also music that matched the food or season on the small stereo in the kitchen to provide ambiance. Now I know that this sounds very Norman Rockwell - and maybe it was, but just the same we had dinner as a family every night, around the table, regardless of who was in a bad mood, what was on TV, etc. I will say that with this exception - if there was a Christmas special on, or the yearly Sound of Music viewing - we did get to eat in the Family Room - but that was truly a special occasion.

Now - I will tell you this - it was not always pretty - I was an extremely difficult teenager (my parents will tell you this is an understatement)- and felt the need to argue about absolutely everything - So many of the nights around the table where spent with me arguing about nothing important - that at the time I thought was a matter of principle - just because I wanted to win. In fact, to give you an idea of how hard I was - about 2 years ago James, the kids, and I went to dinner at my parents house, and we started having a discussion about a movie that my mother was adamant that my children not see.

I got slightly heated and was going through all the reasons I am anti censorship, parenting by committee, etc. When I looked around and James and the kids had left the house - My parents and I found them outside sitting in the car waiting for me. James was under the impression that my parents and I were having an intense fight. We (Tim, Patcee, and I) could barely contain our laughter - because this was nothing in comparison to me as a kid. But for James that is the most heated he had ever seen me.

Dinner at our house growing up was also a time of tremendous laughter - there would be something that would strike us just right, and we would laugh, and laugh, until we could hardly breath. But regardless of whether it was a hard night, or a lovely night - We had that stable ritual of dinner, that gathering of our family, the dinner table foundation, and family. I now look back at that time with some slight awe. How had my mother done this. Dinner every night together around a table - Are you kidding me - I can barely get groceries in my house.

But I will say this - we (James and I)have been trying to have dinner at least once a week, as a family, without TV to give us a chance to stop, enjoy the company, look and talk to our children. The preparation alone gives me time to hear all about Kennedy's day, and Jackson will come in and tell me all about his escapades. Dinner around the table is special, it is important, especially sans TV. It is even more important when you have two working parents - full time - who struggle to do more then walk in the house at the end of the day and collapse in a heap on the floor.

Here are some tips for family dinner. Get out the good plates. What are you waiting for? Who could be more important then your family? Teach your children the right way to set a table - Manners Matter, and make sure at dinner you set the expectations that we will be using our best manners. I can not stress this point enough - it will effect them in a job interview, it will help them when they are dating, it tells the people in "real life" who they are eating with more then anything they say. It is a reflection on you as a parent. Don't rush - take your time - that's why God invented Tivo. The game, the homework, the thing that is more important - will wait.

Have real conversation - Don't ask - How is school going - you will get answers like "okay" - Don't ask what are you studying - that will also be vague - and it also tells your children that you really don't want to talk about anything important. Why not ask something like - What are you most grateful for today? What do you think about where we should go on vacation this year? Your children will have to stop and think and give you an answer. And don't accept "I don't know" - answer back - "If you did know - what would it be" they will come up with something.

Dinner Matters - and Doing Dinner "Right" Matters - For the following reasons:

1- Your family will be closer because of this time and form real relationships.

2- Your children will be able to have dinner with others and make conversation.

3- You will be raising children that understand etiquette, manners - and those children are the type other people like to be around.

4- Your children will be able to serve a dinner when they grow up.


Now - go plan a family dinner and turn off the TV and talk to each other - you may enjoy yourself. - Back off my soap box!

Bliss on a Budget - Week #4

Facial Hair Free Bliss:

Okay - here is your bliss on a budget for this week. There are two blogs this week - because I needed to make sure I also wrote a blog on Things that Matter. And with that, we will get right to it.

Women - as much as it is embarrassing we have facial hair. I know that we tell ourselves that it is super light and that no one really notices - but these are just stories we tell ourselves to make us feel better about having facial hair. I notice - in fact if you have facial hair it might be the first thing I notice about you. It will have zero impact on whether or not I like or love you - but just the same I will notice and I will make a small mental note that says something like - "When you get a chance to be close enough to her - maybe a confidant - that should be the first thing you handle with her."

I know there are several kinds of facial hair: there is that light colored mustache that some try to cover up with make-up, There is a those random whiskers that pop up on our chins, and then probably the worst impact facial hair of all - eyebrows. All of these types of facial hair can be handled and will make a significant difference about how you feel about your self.

My first realization that I had facial hair came when I was about 20 years old. I was waiting for some fries at McDonald's (you know when they aren't ready - so they have you pull off to the side to a special parking space and they bring them out to your car) Well - I was on my way to somewhere important/maybe even to meet a boy - and so I pulled down the visor to look in the mirror - suddenly and without warning there was a huge whisker on my check - and when I say huge - I mean like 1 inch long. I was astounded - how had I missed this. After collecting my fries - I drove straight to a drug store and bought a pair of tweezers and got rid of that whisker immediately.

A more dramatic experience came a few years later in Hawaii of all places. My mother decided wouldn't it be nice from me, my mother, my sister Emily, my grandma Kay, and my aunt Kittie to go to a conference at BYU Hawaii - called "A New You" - This turned out to be a makeover camp for post menopausal woman - with Emily and I being the youngest by far there - and we had to stay in the dorms (that's another story altogether) Anyway as part of the conference they had a make-up class. As part of the class all participants had to purchase a make-up mirror. You know the ones with lights all the way around - and one side of the mirror in regular phase and the other side with 5X magnification. Holy Moly for the first time ever I was able to see how much hair I had growing on my face and it was scary - My eyebrows where dreadful - and that light mustache I had was actually made up of some pretty dark hair - lastly there were about 10 whiskers on my chin - oh dread! The lovely well intentioned ladies of the make-up class tried to teach us all how to pluck our eyebrows - but really - we aren't professional - we did not do a very good job!

I finally got a handle on my facial hair in Nashville, TN in the fall of 1998. At that time I worked for Novell, and at that point I had a territory that stretched from Southern California to North Carolina and south. I had to be in Nashville for meetings and had gone in to an Aveda salon to get my hair colored - After doing my hair the stylist said to me - "let's do your eyebrows and lip shall we." Because I was certain that I would probably not see her again - I said "The lip worries me - what if it grows back with stubble?" She took the time to explain to me - that no it won't grow back that way - and that if anything every time you wax - it grows in with less and finer hair - and that when I am older - it will stop growing in at all. That was all I needed to hear - and with that I had my first eyebrow and lip wax. Now as a word of warning - this will hurt - bad! but for only a minute or two - and we all know that being beautiful is painful - So you will need to be prepared to suck it up and be tough!

I must have looked like and idiot I could not get over how smooth my lip felt - I just kept running my finger over it - thinking - my gosh - I am hairy monster and I didn't even know it. The eyebrow wax opened up my eyes and I looked well rested and refreshed. I could not believe what a tremendous difference my eyebrows and lip made - I felt beautiful and more importantly confident. From that moment on I began keeping my face facial hair free. I also use my lighted make-up mirror - but that has more to do with blindness then anything.

Now when you go to a salon to get your eyebrows and lip done that is going to run you approximately $25.- $35. + tip for the eyebrows, and $15. -$20 for your lip. The price may go down about 30% if you go to a nail place - I also find that they do a better job. But here are my recommendation for taking care of your facial hair needs.

Eyebrows are something that quite simply should not be done by anyone but a professional. The ladies at the nail place have this down to a science and they will change you about $15.00 for your eyebrows to be waxed. You will be blown away by the absolute difference this will make for your face - You will look younger and more beautiful - guaranteed! For the rest of your face you need to head to a grocery store, or drug store and purchase a box of Sally Hansen Wax Strips for about $6.00 - These strips will allow you to fuzz free your face - and you can do it at home in privacy - So for a whopping $21.00 - you should be all set to be facial hair free, confident, sexy and self assured.

For those you, that live near me - and would like help - I am a picker (someone who likes to pick on things) and would be more then happy to give you a lesson on how use your wax strip kit.

Happy Facial Hair Free Bliss!

Things that Matter - Week#1

Okay kids - this week we are getting a 2 for 1 - I have to take a moment and talk about things that matter - and then I will get along to Bliss on a Budget. Bear with me this first one is a long one.

Things that Matter #1 - Responsibility Matters/Making Men out of Boys

I spent his last few days with Keaton. Keaton or now as he is referred to Squad Leader Private First Class Light upon the occasion of his graduation from Basic Training. What a tremendous sight watching all those soldiers march in perfect rhythm into the hall, with spectacular cadence. I was immediately filled with a sense of overwhelming pride - like I had made it as a mother - but really Keaton did it - and he did it in spectacular fashion. He was only 1 of 3 men out of the whole Battalion who was promoted. A battalion is around 240 men.


Most of the mothers, fathers, and girlfriends where sitting in the audience straining and reaching to find their boy - many did not have much luck - as the transformations were so extreme that they could not find the kid that they sent off to the military. I could see Keaton immediately standing straight and tall and full of pride and patriotism.

To take you back a bit this transformation is quite a drastic one - Keaton was a overweight, couch loving, video game playing, food enthusiast, and pacifist. He did not like to hurt anyone and frankly - I don't know if he would relish the thought of hurting anyone now.

Keaton was my surprise, my one-night stand, holy cow I'm pregnant, with no one to even think about marrying surprise. When I found out I was pregnant - I was scared to death - I could have an abortion but then people might find out about that (Thanks Jenn Hawkins Pixton - for her words of wisdom about that) I could put him up for adoption - but that seemed too hard - if I was going to go through the whole being pregnant and giving birth- I needed something to show for it.

My friends and family where slightly shocked that I was keeping this baby - "Jenn" they would say - "You don't even like kids, you never babysit, kids scare the hell out of you" and they were 100% right. I had only changed a diaper 1 time in my life, and I must admit there was some vomit that in sued. To this day - I can't stand kids - my kids of course are the exception - and I have limited nieces and nephews I like - but other peoples children in general are dreadful (no offense) but I had something that most unwed, single moms, with no job and no prospects had - A wonderful supportive family, and friends - who all acted like this pregnancy with something of our own little miracle and everyone would pull together to raise this child.


When I was in the hospital 23 of my friends came to visit me - and maybe another 20 family members -When Keaton was born I looked into his eyes and it was love at first sight - We have been best friends ever since.

Cut to Keaton's Graduation from High School -When Keaton graduated from high school - he and I had to go out and buy him an outfit to graduate with - This was a bit of a chore because Keaton had something like a 42 inch waist - and that was really squeezing him in - and a 2XLT shirt - which for this occasion ended us looking like a Tommy Bahama ripe off - and the whole ensemble had to be purchased from the Big and Tall store. (we still visit that store, because James has a 36 inseam for his pants and arms that 36/37) Keaton graduates from high school - gets registered for the University of Utah - and mom, James, Patcee, and Tim all breath a sigh of relief - "he is going to college - all is well in the universe"

Our deal with Keaton was - he could live at home rent free, we would help pay for college if he did 2 things. 1-Apply for at least 2 scholarships a week. James had given him a website that had 1000's of scholarship a week posted for money for school. (we didn't even care if he won any of them - he just had to apply) 2- He needed to save enough money from his part time job - to be able to pay for his books every semester. At the end of the first Quarter - Keaton had done pretty good in school I think all A's with a B, but he had failed to save any money for books, and had not applied for even one scholarship. As you can imagine there was some promising to do better - and "I will keep my commitment this time mom, I promise"

As Keaton's mother, and one of his best confidants I so wanted to just believe him and continue to help him go to school - but after a few arguments with James we came to to conclusion that it was time for some tough love - So with that, I sat down Keaton and we had the following conversation:

"Keaton - guess what - you blew it - I am not mad at you - I am just disappointed and worried about you. You don't have to go to college - You don't have to do anything - You are a grown man - and today is the day you get to take that leap - So today is Nov 2008 - as of right now - You need to find a job that pays your bills and you need to move out. You have until Dec 1st. Good Luck - I know you can do it."


As you can imagine Keaton was stunned and hurt - how could I kick him out - what was he going to do. He immediately got a little huffy puffy and called his friends who could not believe that Keaton's "cool mom" was doing this to him. He made some statement like "I will be out in a few days" and promptly got in a car with his buddies and left.

A wonderful thing happened then - Keaton became a man. Without a car - with limited funds and a job that didn't make much money - he figured it out. First step - Get a job with UPS - He had heard that they have tuition payback - and so he figured if he wanted to go to school he better get with a company that was going to pay for that. After several interviews he got the job and began working at UPS. Taking the bus and train to and from work every day - No car for him! This was one of the hardest day's of my life (snob alert - I am going to come off as a big one here) because he had no car - he asked me to take him to his first day on the job. If you have ever seen the movie Joe vs the Volcano - that is exactly what it is like. It's shift work - and everyone there is there because this is as good as life gets. All the men and boys walking into the UPS plant looked down at there shoes and shuffled, they had, had all the life and joy beaten out of them. And here was my smart brilliant boy joining their ranks - All I could hear in the back of my head was that song:

You load sixteen tons and what to you get

Another day older and deeper in debt

St. Peter don't you call me cause I can't go

I sold my soul to the company store

Needless to say - I cried all the way home and James had to keep assuring me that "hard work" never killed anyone - and it would all be alright.

UPS is a hard place to work on the line - You move 2000+ boxes every night, and you do it without music - So you are alone with your thoughts and your aching body. But somehow Keaton survived - he lost some weight - his arms got huge - and he started taking pride in how his "line" and "trucks" moved every night. Then he had enough money to take a class at the U and also to move out. ( Jackson was furious at me for "kicking" Keaton out of the family) He was a man with a plan - work at UPS long enough to get tuition payback - and also start the ROTC program at the U. The ROTC program at the U is hard for a 300 pound 6.3 man - who although his arms are in shape the rest of his body looked like the Pillsbury dough boy - So every morning at 5:30 am- Keaton was out the door up to the U having commanders run him several miles a day up streets called "Satan's Hill" - most days he would throw up, sometime during the run, but he was determined to make his goals. He also had to pass push-up and sit-ups - more bouts of throwing up!

In January of 2010 he was down to about 250 pounds and had been told he was in line for a scholarship with the ROTC program. But then a terrible thing happened. The commander of the ROTC program at the U - had promised more kids money then he had money for - So "Keaton although we love how hard you work and how far you have come - sorry - We don't have any money for you" - "About that time - UPS in a effort to cut back it's expenses did away with the tuition program as well" All that work - and there was to be no money for Keaton to go to school. Keaton was completely devastated - He came home and sat down on my bed and cried for a bit and said - "Mom what am I going to do" - Enter James (stepdads are good for something)

My question to Keaton was - "Keaton did you want to serve, or did you want to go to school." Keaton without giving a moments thoughts said "Mom first and foremost - I want to serve, but I also want to go to school" With that information I called James - who called his old buddy whom he used to room with back in his single days. Greg Koyle.(I am sure he has a grandiose title but I don't know it) Greg was in charge of ARMY recruiting for Utah. And by the very next day - he had an appointment for Keaton, James and I to sit down and find out the whole deal.

That meeting was slightly comical - they kept trying to sell us - and we kept trying to just sign up. From there you take tests and find out what the army thinks you would be a good fit for - and that is when we got a bigger shock - Keaton scored 98 out of 99 and his test - with the highest score they had seen in a while relative to being an officer, and having leadership. He was thrilled and we were thrilled and with that in February he took the oath and became a member of our nations military.

Keaton will now spend the next year or so in Monterrey, CA learning Farsi - as a member of military intelligence. When he completes his training he will have the equivalent of a associated degree - and then he will complete the ROTC program while getting his bachelors degree. His weight is down to 220 - so within 1 and 1/2 years - he has lost 100 pounds, gained a career, is serving our country, and has been become a "good man" and that is probably the most important part.

Things that Matter - Moral of the Story

1- Let your kids take responsibility for their actions - this serves them far more than anything you can do for them. They will become their true character.

2- Stand -up for the national Anthem - Sing from your toes, put your hand over your heart - even if you are watching it on TV - appreciate the sacrifice that our soldiers are making - take a moment to be reverent - this is our flag, this is our country, and this is the freedom that we enjoy because of people who are serving and have served - This means something.

3- Support your kids in doing the hard things - The hard things build character, leadership, and bravery - and that is what we need more than anything these days.

And with that - I am off my soap box - still a little weepy about my oldest son the solider!

Sunset Bliss - Week #3

This weeks moment of bliss is coming to you absolutely free of charge. You can also have it every day should you wish - This weeks moment of bliss is the sunset. I am a very lucky girl, I have the chance to travel all over the country and sometimes all over the world. I have been able to see the sunset's in many places and countries. There are beach sunsets where I have walked hand in hand with my love. There are mountain sunsets when the air turns cool and crisp and if you are lucky you have water there too. There are city sunsets as viewed from outside of a hotel window, or from my back deck that overlooks the city lights.

The key to sunsets is taking a moment to stop and watch. Is there really something so important that it can't wait for the moments of pure bliss that come from seeing the sunset slowly, dramatically with certainty - It puts that moment in perspective - Just how small I am, and just how awesome the Universe is. Sunset's in Alaska, sunsets in Mexico, sunsets over the ocean when you are sailing across the sea. Sunset's with the one(s) you love. Sunset's with your children.

About 3 years ago, James and I made the decision to turn off the electronics when we were in the car with the exception of the radio. At first it was difficult. Jackson was at that age when if we were driving for more then 20 minutes, he would get bored, and whine, and do his best to drive James crazy. But despite the fact that it was very difficult, and met with some resistance we suffered through about 2 weeks and when the kids would complain - we would tell them to look out the window and imagine. Our argument was when we were kids we didn't have ipods, gameboys, dvd players, etc. When we drove we had to look out the window and imagine. We thought if it was good enough for us - it should be good enough for our kids. We simply did not want them to have to be entertained all the time. And the most wonderful thing happened........they did look out the window - and they did start using their imaginations - and it was manifested in an interesting way - they started noticing the beautiful world around them, including the sunsets.

As many of you know - we have some some 2 year old colts in Idaho that my wonderful in-laws allow us to keep on the farm. So as much as we can we make the 3 hour drive up to Idaho and visit our horses and work with them. This last summer I enjoyed the most wonderful moment with Jackson. It was time to bring in the horses and give them their nightly feeding. Jackson had been working hard with Grandpa and James all day, and was down at the corrals with them finishing the farm chores. I was waiting for them to finish, and Jackson said "Hey mom, do you want to want to climb up to the top of the straw bails with me" I said yes - and we made our way up to sit down at the top of the hay. There, as we watched, the sun starting setting in the west - and we quietly watched it as it made it's way slowly over the far off ridge. Jackson reached over and grabbed my hand and after a few minutes I looked over and watched his face. With tears streaming down his face he said to me softly - "Mom, that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen" I nodded in agreement - and we sat there for a few more minutes before it was time to come in for supper.

Go watch a sunset today......

Week #2 - Bedroom Bliss

I know that this title inspires all sorts of lurid thoughts. Well, take your mind out of the gutter - This week, we will not be dealing with 10 ways to make love to your man, or 5 positions that are sure to satisfy or any other Cosmo titles that scream out at you in the line at the grocery store. This week we are going to talk about your actual bed.

Most of us, if we are lucky, spend approximately 1/3 of our lives in bed. You know that prescribed 8 hours of sleep you are supposed to get every night. I know - most of you have children, and you think that 8 hours a night is simply something that you enjoyed in high school - you are wondering "why is it, that we thought having a baby was a good idea?" they (I am not sure who they are) don't tell you before you have the baby that you will Never Sleep Again - Even when they grow up and move out of the house - you still have that thing called "Mom Radar" and for some reason it can go off at any given time - if somewhere in the house or across town - your baby is having trouble, or feels like they are going to throw up. You magically wake up in a super human way - and know, one of them needs you, somewhere.

Anyway - I digress. With all that said, your sleep. what little you will get over the next 20 years, becomes even more important and precious. It is this that makes what I am about to tell you an extremely valuable piece of advise. The Thread Count of your Sheets Matters!!!!!! I would imagine that most of you are sleeping on thread count in the neighborhood of around 210 - 250. Some of you, may even be on 180 sheets (this, I believe, is a sin) You need to love yourself enough to stop this practice immediately!

Now thread count is the number of threads per square inch of fabric. The higher the number, the softer, and better quality of sheet. If you have never enjoyed a high thread count sheet - you are in for a real treat. It can change the very nature of your sleep. I know that all of us love clean sheets right out of the dryer, that wonderful smell, the clean feeling well triple that feeling when dealing with the right type of sheets. I suggest at least a 400 Thread count, although at my house we tend to gravitate to 500-600. Now here is my tip for buying high thread count sheets without the price tag of $80.00-120.00

T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, and Ross are your best bets. They will have 380-650 sheets that will range from $19.00 - $39.00 - Look for brands such as Calvin Klein with a sateen finish. They are heavenly. They will bring you instant bedroom bliss when you slide into your new sheets that feel lovely, and re-affirm that you deserve a wonderful sleep, a comfortable sleep, a blissful sleep. Beware of people on ebay selling anything from 800-1200/these sheets are a scam, and are simply using a trick of threads to make the claim that they are in that range. If you don't find anything you like at the above stores, head to Macy's or Dillards or even a Linens and Things and find what you want - make sure you make a note of all the pertinent information, and then go back to ebay and see if you can procure them at a reasonable price....under $50.00

Your bed should be a sanctuary from the problems of the day, from the worries of your life, so make sure you have the right sheets to support your chance to renew. You will be surprised the difference they will make on your outlook to everything in your life.

Now that you will be refreshed - maybe you can work on those lurid details I spoke of before - Good Luck!

Week #1 - Facials that inspire Bliss on a Budget

I have to admit I am high maintenance and vain. Very vain in fact. I absolutely hate the prospect of getting old - not the age part, the looking old part. Anyone who knows me knows that I live in fear of looking or acting old. I go to great lengths to be age appropriate beautiful. It costs money to be age appropriate beautiful without turning into Joan Rivers or the woman you see on reality TV.

The odd part is when I was growing up - I was a tomboy - I spent every waking moment up a tree or in a ditch or building a fort. I hated wearing shoes. I had the blackest, dirtiest feet on the planet. I remember walking in the house one day and tracking black foot prints over the newly clean floor. My father was so angry - and he took me right upstairs to the bathroom and got out a steal wool (you remember those things - they would clean really dirty pots and pans - baked on items) and scrubbed and scrubbed my feet until he could see the real color of my skin coming through - and then he said "isn't that better?" - I didn't think it was better - I thought it was a waste of time - and within 2 minutes I was back outside sans shoes.

Well as you can imagine there is no room for sunscreen in the life of a tomboy - So although I have been blessed with extremely great skin (my fathers) I still have sun damage, and wrinkles, and age spots. And about 7 years ago I began having facials. Facials are wonderful - they make you feel beautiful and like you "have it going on" they relax you - and during and after - you think to yourself - now why don't I get these once a week?

Facials at a regular salon are about $75-125 dollars and last about 50 minutes. So for the first few years of getting facials I went to very high end salons (Stein Erickson's/Finnish Touch) and had lovely 100.00 facials. But then I made the most wonderful discovery in the world!

Beauty Schools - I know you are saying to yourself - Beauty Schools? - We all have that experience emerging from the beauty school after 4 hours looking like a poodle with that perm our friend/family/neighbor talked us into - or the color that was a bad idea - or the cut that didn't go quite right. But a facial is a whole other proposition. A facial is people massaging your skin, cleaning it, moisturising and masking it, steaming it - and because they are students that want to be a thorough as possible and make you as happy as possible.

So instead of being an 50 minute facial, it will be a 75-90 minute facial - and the products are the best available - and the icing on top of the cake is the cost - Only $35.00

I know it sounds too good to be true - but since I switched to facials at schools I can't go back to a regular salon. The facials are better and longer, and the price is right. So just to get the folks in Salt Lake Started - here is who I would recommend:

The Paul Mitchell School - They are currently having 20% off from now until Nov 5th and the regular price is $35.00 They can be reached at 801.266.4693 or if your can't get in there

The Cameo College of Essential Beauty - They have an adult day spa in the basement that has lovely lighting and does not allow children there regular price is $35.00 and they can be reached at 801.747.5700

Good Luck and Enjoy the Bliss

Bliss on a Budget - Things that Matter About:

Hello Everyone that may choose to read my blog. I was laying down getting a facial today and it suddenly occured to me that I live a wonderful big life - and that I am not rich, and I am not famous and most of what I do - others could do as well. So I am planning to write a blog, at least once a week that will tell you the thing I did that week that brought me bliss - and for the most part that thing will be under $50.00 - This will allow anyone who wants to participate in the weekly bliss item to do so, without breaking the bank.

As soon as that idea took off in my head - I was also flooded with other ideas - Things that I think Matter - and I think everyone should think they Matter - and if we all treated the things that Mattered, like things, that do in fact, Matter - maybe the world will be a slightly more lovely place to live. So feel free to participate, suggest, etc. I will give you my wisdom - what little I have and we will see how this goes!! Bon Appetite, Bon Voyage - Bon well whatever is appropriate here.