Accountability Matters
I was lynched last night. I have never been lynched before - So, as you can imagine it caught me off guard. I was just wrapping up my day at work, and there was a ring at the doorbell. This immediately caused me anxiety - because for the most part, people don't just drop by my house. It is usually some "at risk" youth who wants me to buy a magazine or chocolates to keep them off" the streets". Or worse the local church, trying to catch me at home, with assigned fellowship, which translates into woman who have been assigned to be my friend, deliver a "God loves you" message and attempt to encourage me to go to church. I am always polite if they catch me, and thank them for the homemade goodies (There is always homemade goodies - Marketing tip: I will need a lot more than food items to get me to go to church - that sounds jaded, but I am in sales, and can appreciate a good pitch) and do my best to end the conversation and send them on their way. But this ring at the doorbell was neither of these.
Kennedy - being much braver than I went to the door. After a brief conversation - she came upstairs with a strange look on her face, kind of confused, and kind of concerned - She said to me "they would like a parent of Jackson Light" - oh, okay - I guess that's me. I go downstairs to the door, and I am meet by two mothers and their two boys, one in 2nd grade and one in 3rd grade. The head woman in charge says to me - "we are here to figure out what happened on the bus today, and we would appreciate it, if you would get Jackson so we can talk to the both of you" At this point my initial thought is "oh no, what has Jackson done" but I walk out onto the front steps and shut the door behind me. I answer that Jackson is not home, he is playing with a friends - So, why don't you just tell me what happened.
The boys are looking really confident in the smack down they believe their mothers are going to give me. The spokeswoman speaks to me again -"Well there was a problem on the bus today, that involved Jackson, and because of Jackson, my son was man handled by the bus driver. The bus driver grabbed my son by the arm - and sat him down in his seat on the bus - apparently it was really Jackson who was the problem, and it is not okay, that my child was man handled, because of what your child did. We are here to sort this out" - She then turns to her child (Ben) and says - "tell her what happened on the bus." Ben - then gathers his wits about him, and says "Jackson hit me" The mothers and the boys then look at me, and wait for my response to this news. But instead of saying "oh you poor things, I am so sorry, are you okay?" - I do something that apparently none of them were expecting - I say, "why did Jackson hit you? What was happening" - The boys then tell me their version of the story....
"Well we were sitting on the bus, and we were sitting together, and Jackson would not get out of our seat, and then he just hit us" The Mothers continue to wait on what they think is the appropriate response - I have no idea what this is suppose to be, again - it's my first lynching, and I am not prepared (I am thinking at this point, that story does not add up) - about this time, Jackson walks up to the house. His friend had to do his homework, and was not able to play yet. Jackson has an odd look on his face, like mmm, what's all this about. I call out to him, "buddy - come over here, help me understand what happened today on the bus"
Jackson comes up to the steps and tells his version of the story - which goes like this....Well I was sitting in my assigned seat on the bus. The driver has asked me to sit in a specific seat, and Ben is suppose to sit in the seat with me, but today his friend (he points to the other kid who's mother is rolling her eyes, and is getting frustrated that this lynching is not going as planned) wants to sit in my seat with Ben, so he climbs over me, and seats in between Ben and me. They wanted me to leave the seat, so they starting bugging me to heck (that is how Jackson is prone to emphasis things - bugging me to heck) I interrupt at this point and say - "what does that mean?" Jackson says - "poking me in the back and yelling in my ear, and saying mean things to me - but I can't move mom, I am in my assigned seat, and if I move the bus driver will get mad at me" I turn to the boys and say "Is what he is saying accurate? Is this a case of you boys wanted to sit together and here is Jackson ruining everything" - They both say "yes" I then turn back to Jackson and say - then what happened and he says " I couldn't take it anymore and I slapped them" - The mothers look happy and slightly surprised that Jackson has so easily told me the truth. I look Jackson square in the eyes and I say "I don't care if they light your hair on fire, put gum on your seat, or worst of all - say they don't like BYU - you have to control your actions, and you can't hit them" Jackson says okay, and then turns to both the boys and says" I'm sorry." - The one mothers says, well maybe our boys shouldn't have egged him on - I turn to her, and say - I could care less what your boys have done, I care what my boy did, and I need him to learn to control himself, despite the circumstances. (Accountability)
I then turn to mothers and the boys and say "The reason why the bus driver probably took Jackson's side is this, Jackson greets the bus driver every morning with a "Good Morning, how are you this morning sir?" and when he drops Jackson off, Jackson turns to the driver and says" Thank you for the ride sir, have a great day!" Do either of you thank the driver? Both of the kids shake their heads no - Well if you want the driver to take your side, you should probably treat the driver with more respect. I then turn to the whole group, and say "Now, is there anything else you would like to tell me about Jackson?" - The whole group look slightly stunned, and says "no" - "Okay then" and Jackson I turn around and go back in the house.
I was positively shaking - I was so angry, of course it was wrong for Jackson to hit the kids, but those mothers had come to my door to lynch Jackson, and until I asked, they had not thought that there children had done anything. It was like they had assumed that Jackson had just smacked their boys out of the blue. Later as I recounted the story to James he was not shocked at all. He said to me, it's like children who are being raised right now, are being raised so entitled, their parents can't even see that their child is anything less then perfect.
The craziest thing to me was - If Jackson was beat up at school, or smacked on the bus, I would absolutely never show up at that kids house and demand to "discuss" the situation. Life is not fair, the only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation. I would have asked Jackson what he did to evoke the situation, and then I would have coached him on how not to get in that situation in the future. As well as - If a bus driver, or teacher, etc. Finds themselves in a situation where they need to grab your kids arm and put him in his seat - Why in the world didn't they ask their children what they had done to deserve this treatment.
I never realized how "old school" I am, but I tell you this. James and I are raising children who respect authority, who tell the truth (even when it gets them into trouble) who make bad decisions from time to time - and get to learn from those bad decisions. And will ultimately be better prepared for life, because we didn't go and fight there battles for them. Entitlement is killing the character of this generation and the next, and Accountability is non existent in all but a few homes in our area.
Of my soap box, just got done picking out the feathers from the tar.
