The Fountain - A Musing

The fountain was nothing spectacular, a typical downtown fountain really – It changed directions, brought water from different angles – you know that type of thing. The day was absolutely gorgeous – sunny and blue (maybe one of the first sunny days in a string of rainy and dreary days) The sun bringing out the bikers, corporate lunchtime walkers, derelicts who muttered to themselves, picture taking tourists, and best of all – children on school field trips.

Kids of any age have a hard time avoiding a fountain – I mean, there it is - just shooting water out, up and then down again – there are coins to be thrown in, wishes to be made, depending on the temperature – toes to be dipped in, maybe even an ankle. But these kids were on field trips. They had “responsible adults” counting and recounting them, keeping the ones with too much energy in line, warning them with stern looks and cautioning fingers. But in the end, the fountain must be heeded, the water must be felt, there is simply nothing else their childlike souls can do.

The first group of children walked up, ages 9-10, their eyes all cast upon the fountain transfixed by the rushing water, straining against the invisible boundaries that had been imposed by their teacher prior to unloading off the bus. A few could not help it – they just had to get closer – and with them, their parent chaperones that still had some wonderment left in their spirits. “We won’t get in” you could almost hear them tell themselves, we will just pop our fingers in the water for a moment. One parent organized his charges near a concrete block, fountain in the back, and took their toothy pictures, smiling from ear to ear. “That grown-up is better than our grown-up” you could see in the eyes of children who stayed in line.

The next group of children was smaller in numbers and maybe 11-12 years old, but deaf. This discussion was very different. The teacher was signing like crazy, with much sternness in her gestures – I don’t understand sign language but I knew exactly what she was saying “DO NOT get in that water, I MEAN IT – don’t test me on this – big trouble – no really I mean it” the children signing back to her, resigned “yes, we understand”, still turning their heads back to stare at the water, then back at the teacher, then back at the water. Once they had finished eating their sack lunches on the benches near the grass – they found a way to take their trash, to the can closest to the fountain – in the end they were allowed to place their hands in the stream of water shooting out from the edges into the middle. Then, quickly moved away, and on to the next phase of the field trip.

Next – my personal favorite – the little girl about 8 years old, small with a cute “page boy” haircut, clothes - bathed in glitter and flare (you know this girl must have a name like Chloe or Lucy). She approaches the fountain with her hip slightly cocked to one side, and then, fully in the moment, she puffs out her chest,tilts her head up and shakes it abit, and takes her arms slowly up and out conducting a symphony of water – bright eyes, performing, knowing that people may be watching her, and "hamming it up" for their benefit – This is the type of child that is always “on” and auditioning to be discovered – by who, she doesn’t even know. After a while she draws her awkward, bigger, side kick friend into the dance – and they both move with the fountain of music.

I am slightly surprised by the children that finally succumb to the siren call of the water. It’s teenagers – 14 and 15 years olds - 6 girls and 3 boys (of course there is one boy that is cuter then the other two, and the girls are doing what girls that age do – preening and competing for the attention of that boy) so the braver of the girls starts slowly, flirting with the water and the boy, getting closer, retreating, going in a little farther, getting a little wetter, until there is nothing left to do but go “all in” and with that she starts on one side of the fountain and runs with full joy, and astonishment at what she is doing from one side of the rushing water to the other side – drenched, grinning, a trail blazer – and with that the spell is broken – the entire teenage brigade must follow her through.

• I sit on the sidelines, enjoying the show – clapping ovations for the children who are taking the plunge – completely content with my front row seat to the water show.

Bliss on a Budget - Laughter is Bliss

Laughter Bliss

The joke goes pretty much like this – There are two Monkeys sitting in a bathtub. The first one says “scratch my back Mac” the other one says “That’s okay Joe, I have a radio of my own” – Start laughing really hard now.

No – you haven’t missed anything – that is the famous Tim Powers “Monkey” joke. And when I was a kid – I heard that joke, anytime someone new came to the house for dinner (swimmers, friends, dates, extended family, etc) We would be sitting at the kitchen table having dinner promptly at 6:00 pm and after the usual dinner conversation there would ultimately be a lull in the conversation. At which time my dad would get a twinkle in his eye (my father is probably one of the most confident men I know – so he simply says anything he would like, with full confidence that it will be met with nothing but positive results) the look would essentially signal that something delightful was about to unfold. I knew the look, my sister and mother knew the look, (we each had very different reactions to the look – Mine was co-conspirator, my mother – “oh no, not this again”, Emily – part conspirator, part nervous wreck, not wanting anyone to feel bad) and with that my father would say with a huge smile on his face, and great enthusiasm – “hey, have you heard the Monkey joke?” – Not, in all my years of sitting at that table had anyone ever heard the Monkey joke. And so, once he had confirmation of that, he would launch into the Monkey joke, as if he was telling our guest the single funniest joke in the history of the world. At the end, he and I would throw our heads back and break into big laughter and really sell it.

Each and every time people would have a slightly different reaction. Some would laugh in an effort to make my father feel good about his joke, others would look confused and ask him to tell it again, some would simply try and work it out in their heads. These reactions would build upon each re-telling of the simple joke above, with my father getting more animated each time. We (the family – understanding the joke) would watch their faces and read their thoughts – and that would send us really laughing – no longer selling – we were simply laughing at their reaction to the joke. As I am writing this – it occurs to me, how slightly mean this sounds – but we didn’t really have people over who were overly sensitive (at least, I hope not) The laughter would sometimes continue through the remainder of dinner, and dessert, until my face hurt from smiling and my stomach from all the laughter, tears of delight streaming down my face until ultimately my father would walk the visitor through the joke, bestowing it on them, a rite of passage if you will, and giving them freedom to use it again at will, to go forth and have their own laughter filled moments.

Story telling is something the Powers family does particularly well. We love a good story! And whether it is (one of literally thousands of stories) my father telling of the time he and Buck acted like homeless people to get a free meal at the shelter, or Pam telling of the time she went on a date with a blind man and he insisted on driving (think about that for a moment) or Leslie and the drunk man who broke into her hotel room and needed to be wrestled (by Leslie no less) to the ground, you feel like you are there in the moment when we tell a story. We lay out the characters, we usually will get up and act out the parts (occasionally dancing as well) – we use accents and voices – we build the back story, and bring you along – so that by the end you want to come with us – you want to be delighted and to laugh, and you are so happy you decided to stay and play with us – and hear our stories. And most importantly you laugh, you laugh until you can hardly stand it, and then when that laughter is over you wait for the next story to wash upon you and give you another moment just like that. The good news is – with a blog you may actually get to hear a lot of our stories. But as I was thinking about what to write in my blog this week, I decided this week should be about laughter.

Everyone has heard the old adage “Laughter is the best medicine” I believe this with my whole body. I love to laugh – which may sound strange because – doesn’t everyone want to laugh? But surprisingly there are a lot of people in the world – who simply get lost in their day to day struggle and forget to laugh. They get a hard exterior, a shell, and as that shell builds up other people laughing actually starts to affect them in a negative way – you know like “who, the hell, are they, to be so happy?” These people have a choice, we all have a choice, - Like energy attracts like energy – so attract some laughter – and you will, in effect, be attracting happiness.

Now when I say I like to laugh – that generally isn’t because of a joke like the one above. I actually really don’t like it when people tell me jokes. Because I find that a majority of the jokes people try to tell me have one of the following elements; racism, dumb blonde, sexism, dirty, etc. I am actually a pretty conservative girl at heart, and I have a hard time hearing a joke about anything that would fall into one of those categories – because I think those kind of jokes bring the wrong kind of energy. So when someone does start to tell me a joke, of any kind really, the following conversation starts happening in my head:

“Oh no, they are telling a joke? Goodness what on earth is this joke about? Is it okay? Oh no, I just realized I am not listening – I am just acting like I am listening, oh no they are really excited about this joke, oh no, I am not really listening at all, this is not good, good gracious, they are going stop telling this joke soon and get to the punch line and I am not going to have any idea what is was about. Oh no they are going to think I don’t get it, but I haven’t been listening – oh no – they stopped – laugh Jenn, Laugh – quick repeat the last phrase and laugh – good lord – please don’t tell another joke!”

So with that in mind – most of my humor comes from finding the humor in my everyday life. When Keaton lived in Utah, he would go and run errands with me, and we would spend the whole day talking in New Zealand accents – completely cracking each other up. Kennedy and I can laugh until we almost wet ourselves over the details of what happened at school that day. Jackson and James are the most constant entertainment. My friends and I laugh simply at how we react to each other. We are a family of laughers – We use humor to handle the stress that life throws at us – and so consequently the things that get thrown at us – seem not nearly as bad as they look on paper.

So here is my assignment with this week’s bliss on a budget – Go get your laugh on. Go to a comedy club, or re-watch a funny movie my suggestions would include (The Inlaws(the original) What about Bob, What’s up Doc, Meet the parents) – watch some episodes of a funny television show like Friends (the one with Ross and the Leather pants, or Joey and the eyebrow waxing) find some real friends and sit in your kitchen and tell stories and laugh at each other – James and I did this the other night with our friends – It’s amazing how funny the words Interstate, Ce-ment, and Corral can be. Smile at the people in line at the store, airport, restaurant, etc. – give compliments to people who need them. Laugh at how silly you are – be Silly!!! You will find that laughter is bliss – and you can have a lifetime supply – absolutely FREE!!

Things that Matter - Mother's Matter

For My Mother on Mother’s Day

One of the earliest memories I have of my mother is on what I think is my 2nd or 3rd birthday. We were living in the apartments in San Jose. Because it was my birthday – my mother had taken me to the grocery store to pick out a cake mix (she would never in a million years make a cake mix now – and I suspect, that even then, she was doing it because I must have insisted) – any one that I wanted. This decision quite delighted me, and I looked them over with care, and selected the pink cherry cake, with pink cherry frosting. We made the purchase and went home to make the cake – I was completely thrilled – and soon enough, there was a pink two layer cake with pink frosting, and it looked to my untrained eyes just like the one on the box.

This was going to be “good stuff” – Soon there were children assembled to come over to our small home to enjoy my birthday cake with me – Here is the thing about those children, I had no idea who they were. I have no idea to this day how she found them – they must have come from church or something – but they came and sang happy birthday to me, and crowded around the table that we had in that small apartment kitchen – and then it was time to cut the cake – and here is the deal – I don’t like cherry cake, or cherry icing. So my mother had gone to all that trouble to make the cake I wanted for my birthday and I took maybe one bite, and then wasn’t even going to eat it. But she wasn’t even mad at me. It just rolled off her back, and I am sure she laughed about it later.

That is the thing about my mother – she is a planner, and she is excellent at execution, she has great vision and eye, and always knows how to do things the “right” way for the moment, but if it all falls apart – she doesn’t fall apart – she rolls with it. Even as I, or the people who know her best, can watch her mind take a moment – to make it okay in her head. Then it is a smile, and moving on….
My mother……

- Made breakfast for me every day of my entire life until I moved out of the house, and I even then when I come home, she makes breakfast for me. She also made dinner!
- Dropped everything she was doing to come to my side every time I needed her ie: Keaton skiing accident, Kennedy newborn hospitalization or subsequent hospital stays, - I am actually reminded of that Indigo girls song that goes “When I needed my mother and I called her – she stayed with me for days”
- Planned, paid for and executed – not only my first wedding but my 2nd one – and both were absolutely perfect!!
- Makes me laugh!
- Is completely beautiful!
- Always has a calm and peaceful home
- Took me on bus rides, train rides, skiing, hiking and adventures when I was a kid.
- Made my favorite meal for my birthday every year without fail.
- Made my Halloween costumes, and Easter dresses from Scratch and they were always the best.
- Would occasionally pack me a lunch for school, and would always write me little love notes on my napkin to tell me things special about me.
- Thinks I am so funny
- Is the greatest grandmother – she always brings love and new experiences into my children’s lives.
- Used to make play dough and I would have fun with it for hours.
- Has always pursued her passions – and thus – they have become our passions – I have my love of art because of my mother.
- Used to read books to me most nights before bed, even when I was in 5th and 6th grade – I loved sitting with my mother and listening to her read.
- Drove all the way to Pocatello, Idaho and spent the night in a hotel just to see Jorri perform in a play.
- Comes to the kids events; baseball, karate tournament, football, etc.
- Always volunteered to be a room mother at school. She also went to each and every parent teacher conference and made notes and then came home and gave me a “good news is and you need to work on”….briefing
- Always took the collect calls, and difficult calls where I was delivering bad news – and no matter what I said – she still loved me.
- Carpooled to and from, I don’t know how many dance lessons, recitals, performances – swim meets and she was always out in the audience and was always cheering for me.
- Made sure that if there was something that was important to me, that somehow, someway I would get it.
- Took me across the country on 20 dollars a day, and across Europe on 30
- Put up with door slamming, name calling, big attitude, arguing that never seemed to end, entitlement, expectations, and bossy-ness and still loved me.
- Limited the amount of TV I watched and always had wheat bread in the house – because it was good for me.
- Is a great story listener
- Never has a bad thing to say about anyone – which is a good balance to me – because – well we all know that.
- Loves my husband
- Flirts with salesmen that work in retail 
- Helped me deliver 2 babies – and raise 3.
- Gave me a roof over my head long after I should have been putting a roof over my own.
- Cries when I cry
- Takes me to the beach every year
- Throws me baby showers, going away, coming home, and “you did it parties”
- Brings me flowers in the hospital
- Gets tickets to the concert, game, event, etc.
- Takes an interest in……
- Worries about me when I travel alone
- Prays for me
- Loves me with her whole heart –

When I was 19 years old – I was definitely the girl who was playing with fire. I was living in Arizona with my friend Jenn Hawkins. I remember going to the grocery store and standing in front of the pregnancy tests and trying to figure out which one to buy. A stranger walked by and recommended one to Jenn and I. Jenn was being strong. She grabbed it – and walked up to the counter and paid. I was in a fog the whole way home to take the test, praying that it would all work out. I remember going into the apartment bathroom and sitting on the toilet and reading the instructions thoroughly – I may have even read them in Spanish – after following them carefully – I put the test on the counter and went out to sit down and watch TV, trying to help my mind stop racing while the time went by. After about 5 minutes – I walked into the bathroom and with major butterflies in my stomach – I looked down at the test. Positive – not even faintly positive – Boldly Positive! It was confirmation of what I already knew – I was going to have a baby. Jenn did her best to console me and give me alternative reasons for the positive – but it was positive – and I knew it in my body.

Without taking even a moment to consider what would happen – I sat down on the couch, grabbed the phone and called my mother.

“Mom?” – (I was starting to feel like I was going to throw up, and not make it through the call)
“Hello Jennifer (excited to hear from me) – How are you?”
“I’m okay – I have something to tell you, and you might want to sit down” – (I was not going to beat around the bush with this – the direct approach is all I had)
“Okay – What is it?”
“I’m pregnant” (There I said it – it’s out there)
“Oh, (pause) Are you okay?”
“I’m really sick mom”
“Uh huh – I actually just came home from a church meeting about unwed pregnancy – so this is perfect timing”
“Okay” – (Me slightly stunned by the direction this had gone)
“Jennifer – It will be okay, we will figure this out, I love you!”

I honestly have no idea how we got off the phone at that point – but two things had happened. I had called my mom and told her the news, and she had heard the news, and still loved me. There was no yelling, no making me feel bad for my decisions, or lack of judgment – just immediate support and love. Without that moment, without that support, I would not have the life and family I have today.

My mother is the blueprint of how to do things right. She is the standard that I hold myself too, and most often come up short. She is the one who’s opinion matters, who I want to make happy and proud. If all the mothers in the whole world were lined up and I could pick any one I wanted. I would pick her, hands down – each and every time – without hesitation, and with my whole heart.

I love you mom! Thank you for everything!