I know I haven't written for 2 weeks but with the holidays, work, and blah, blah, blah - the truth is I am very busy and important ;) - anyway I just spent the weekend in Saint George with my mans softball team and I thought it might be time to write a little bit about friendship.
I am one of those people who doesn't have a lot of friends - this always amazes the people who think they know me because for heavens sakes Jenn - you're in sales - of course you have a lot of friends. Well I guess I should start by defining friendship - My friends are the people I can totally be myself with, who understand all my weirdness and instead of judging me or trying to fix me, really just get a kick out of me - and believe me - I pretend I am easy breezy, but I am a control freak! They are the people who I may have talked to yesterday or maybe 5 years ago - and it's like no time has passed. They live in Utah and various states around the country - and our connections are deep and immediate. They know what I am thinking before I have chance to think it, and I know the same for them - and when we get together we have an absolutely delightful time being in our strangeness. Intimacy defines our friendships - We "get" each other!
I am also one of those girls who doesn't have a lot of friendships with other girls - The reason for this is I don't like to get together to complain about and/or worship my husband. I don't scrapbook, swap recipes, exercise in groups, diet in groups - feel the need to shop together, play bunco, attend movies such as the Twilight series, Sex in the City or Mama Mia - I don't throw parties that are an excuse to sell things to my friends - I am in general not very interested in all things girl - I am however very interested in most things boy - So I find I have more male friends then female friends.
I am married to a man I like to call "the mayor" - and he has quite literally 100's of friends - So many in fact that regardless of where we go or what we are doing - we will see tons of people he knows - he often times can't recall at the moment who they are - he does know he knows them and they talk like no time has past - while I sit there and look interested and not embarrassed that I haven't been introduced. James is the kind of man who when he is friends he is friends and there is almost nothing he wouldn't do for his friends - He has been helped beyond measure at low points of his life and in his mind he has a moral duty to be that friend forever!
Over the last 2 weeks I have had 3 very intense friend experiences. First, one of my oldest and dearest friends came to stay with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. He is the closest thing in the world I have to a brother. When we are together we fall into step like peanut butter and jelly. It can be intimidating for others in our lives because we are that in sync. It is so lovely and therapeutic for me, and I often travel to his house to take a break from my real life and gain sanctuary from my troubles. He feeds my soul - and it was lovely to have a chance to return the favor. I love him from the tips of my toes, and now my children love him too, and my man is thrilled that I have that friendship in my life.
The second came when I went to Boise this past week to speak at a conference. I have a girlfriend there who I have known for 25 years - She and I haven't spoken in a year - and all I did was call her, and with that we were deep in conversation, analysis laughing - have our fix of being heard and hearing each other as well. She is deep in the fight/battle/ divorce - but for the night she could tell me "how it was" and I was able to really hear and feel her - and maybe even give her some comic relief. We left with a hug, and I call you later - which may be 6 months or 6 years from now - but we get it - no worries.
The final tale comes from my new adopted "kids" of Dirthouse. Oh my goodness I love them so much I can hardly stand it. They are new friends - and came by way of the mayor. When James and I got together 4+ years ago he told me 2 things when we became serious. 1 - he goes hunting every year for a week - so don't think that is going to change. 2- He plays softball on a some coed teams and that will take 2-3 nights a week - so be prepared for that. I could get my head around the first one - but the 2nd one I had no idea what that meant. I found out soon enough.
My first experience with softball came on the heels (literally) of working in Park City for the day. I came straight from work and was dressed in a black pin stripped pencil shirt, micro fishnets, 4 and 1/2 heels a creme sleeveless blouse with a large black pashmina, and big black Jackie-O sunglasses. I remember walking up to the ball field, feeling very uncomfortable, searching for James and hoping not to get into a situation I would have to get out of quickly - because in these shoes and skirt I was not moving fast. It was April - and spring ball had just started for the year, there was a coolness in the air, and the voices of friends finding each other after a few months off. Softball is a sub-culture that I knew nothing about - but they are a tight nit family regardless of the team - and the first week of softball is kind of like a family Reunion. I remember distinctly watching the woman softball players eyeing me, and giving each other looks like "check out this girl - what on earth is she wearing" - James was almost embarrassed because I was so over dressed and fancy - and he really wanted these same girls, this extended family, to like me.
I sat there during that first game watching James pitching, cheering when I thought it was appropriate - asking questions of the people who seemed friendly to figure out the rules, and generally just making it through - but that was just the first day - there have been 100's of games since then and now I am an old pro at the softball circuit. Cut to this last weekend when "Dirthouse" competing in the toys for tots tournament. We ended up coming in 2nd out of 84 teams - which is a slight miracle because of the start we had -but the important part was I got to the spend the weekend with my friends. These people are not just friends they are family - they stay with me when I act like a princess requesting my goat cheese on my pizzas, and staying at my hotel. They are okay when I scream my guts out at the ref or say weird things to the other team to get in their heads and make them swing at pitches they have no business swinging at. They tease me, and take care of me and indulge me when I try to run their love lives and give them job and life advise. They laugh at me and my pashmina, glasses, and my east side mentality - and they make me feel proud to be their friend. I know if anything happened they would have my back and I would have theirs.
I have a saying I live by "Like energy attracts like energy" and these friends are my like energy - they are my family, and when I am with them I feel like home. During this holiday season - thank you my dear friends for being in my life!!
Fantastico!!!!!! You are Platinum!!
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