Bliss on a Budget - Week #7

Giving Bliss

I am a giver - I know that sounds a little full of myself - but none the less, it is true - I am a giver. I think that I am a giver because I remember not having and how scary it can be to not have - I hate the feeling of not having enough. Now when I say enough, I mean enough money to keep the lights turned on or food to eat, etc. I have definitely been there.

When I was married to my first husband we lived on 30.00 a week for food. This was in 1991 and it was us and Keaton we were feeding on 30.00 a week - so as you can imagine we had some creativity when it came to making due - the first year of that marriage I would go down to my parents house for Sunday dinner- often on fumes and load up with canned products from their cupboards, and from their version of food storage - which is compared to the Johnson clan is pitiful. They never said a word - I am sure they noticed the cans of corn or soup go missing - but I was too proud and embarrassed to ask. I had made my bed - I was going to lie in it if it killed me. We were so poor that we could not afford a telephone (this was before everyone and their dog had a cell phone) and so I was stuck making collect calls at the pay phone by the corner of the apartment whose rent I could barely afford.I am sure we qualified for food stamps or something - but again - no dice - I was not going to do that.

Once again - I have to give credit where credit is due. I grew up in a family that seemed to have everything. This based on two things; First my father had a job that always supplied him with a new car, and a travel budget - so we could travel along on my fathers recruiting trips while also earning points to travel some more (I am a second generation Delta, Marriott, and Hertz member :) ) and also due in large part to my mother who could budget like no ones business. She had these little 3X5 cards that she would put the budget's on for the month - you know like food with $X amount of dollars and when the food budget was gone the food budget was gone - same with clothes, utilities etc. If it wasn't in the budget - we were generally not going to get it. She was also an excellent saver and a great balance to my father who, like me, is a spender. For those of you with a movie musical background - think Barbara Streisand as Dolly Levi - in Hello Dolly - This is me, in various ways.

Back to my giving ways - Since that time of meager beginnings - I have worked hard and put myself in a position that for the most part my worries relative to money are silly compared to many of the people in my life. I really am completely blessed - and I also have a very interesting relationship with money -knock on wood this doesn't jinx me - but I simply believe that whatever I am going to need is going to be there. This is not to be confused with just planning on the government, my family, or the universe to take care of me - It's just I know I am capable of making money - so when I need to make some money - I do.

Now Christmas is a particularly difficult time for me. This again goes back to my parents (sorry guys I don't mean to throw you under the bus) But when I was younger and when I say younger I mean I had a visit from Santa every year until I got married at 20. And Santa treated me very well. I had picture perfect Christmas's - with pajamas on Christmas eve (our one gift we were allowed to open - often made by my mother) and a morning of delight with nicely laid out piles of presents one for me, and one for Emily - and for the most part Santa got those presents just right - Often they would have presents we didn't even know we needed. The house would smell of wassail, and the lights would glow and we would take our time opening each gift and delighting in what each of had been given by the other folks who had sent presents our way. There would be a fire in the fireplace that my father would make sure and dispose of the wrapping paper - and that morning there would be no fighting, no crying, just peace and love. It breaks my heart that isn't how Christmas is for absolutely everyone on the planet.

Anyway - so I am giver, not just on Christmas but most of the time - because in some small way - there but for the grace of God go I - and you can't take it with you - and frankly when I give - even though it ends up making the person I am giving to happy or relieved or whatever - it truly makes me about 10 times happier then it makes them. So with all that said let me tell you what your assignment is this week regarding the bliss of giving.

You need to find 3 people and give them something - and here is the catch - it doesn't have to cost you anything. Maybe it's a compliment. I know when I give them out - they are so heartfelt and authentic that people really enjoy them (I think this is also because I tend to be hyper critical and set standards that are crazy high and unattainable) Maybe it is forgiveness - this is huge, I also have hard time with this - because when you have crossed me - it is next to impossible to get back in my light - but recently I gave forgiveness to someone (who probably had no idea they even needed it) but I felt 100% better. Maybe you sit next to someone in the lunch room or break room that doesn't have any friends and spend the 1/2 hour talking about them - Kennedy does a wonderful job at this - finding the misfit and fitting them. Maybe it is a love letter to your honey, your mother, your father you child telling them how great they are. Maybe like the mayor I am married to - you stop and pick up the hitchhiker - pull the car out of the snow - listen to the down on your luck story. But do your best to give this week, and see if you don't feel the bliss - This one comes with a money back guarantee!