The Wedding

Disclosure – This is just my experience of the wedding – I am sure you would hear 35 different stories if you polled the group. If you attended and would like to add your experience or thoughts in the comment section of my blog – feel free – I would love to hear other perspectives. Cheers – I hope you enjoy the blog!!

The wedding

Pulling into the parking lot of New Brighton beach, brought an unexpected turn of events – there were people there – lots of them – carrying their beach towels, coolers, and various items that people bring to the beach on a beautiful summer Saturday. “Oh goodness” I say to myself, “this will never do” - for some reason this had never occurred to me (I know – people at the beach – crazy Jenn – duh!) I walk quickly over to the edge and gaze down the wooden stairs to shoreline, where it appears the people have quite literally multiplied and spread out like gremlins or chicken pox. The Park City boys and Keaton standing slightly behind, and I hear Keaton’s thoughts –“We will just ask them nicely to leave. “ – I turn to Keaton, “Let’s get to work” and with that we are down the stairs walking quickly and with purpose – He heads to the first group, and I take the next – Apologizing giving them 20 minutes to clear out and thank them for their understanding - the assumed close. Some smile and are happy to leave, some get angry “It’s a free country, I can be where I want” angry, some try to hint at an invitation to stay, but in the end they all gather their chairs, umbrella’s and sun screen and move southernly down the beach.

After this task has been completed to my satisfaction it’s time to head back up the stairs and wait in the parking lot for the bride – Travis and Dan standing with me, at the ready to catch her as she arrives and makes her way down to the wedding. Talking to me about all the funny thoughts that pass through their heads sensing my nervousness at wanting everything to go “just right”, Travis knowing me well enough to try and save me from myself, and the constant chatter in my brain - as the minutes tick by, 10 minutes after 3:00, 15 minutes after – I scan each and every car looking for the faces I met the night before at the rehearsal dinner, and then at 18 minutes after 3:00 a glimmer of hope comes striding across the parking lot with her bright pink bangs blowing in the wind, like a happy smoke signal, I breathe a sigh of relief; Deborah is here, Kirsten’s kindred spirit aunt, whom I have spent a whopping 15 minutes talking to in my whole life, but in an instant we had recognized each other’s energy. This is a woman on a mission, first - don’t panic she is coming and secondly – I am not a woman who likes to be late – I thank her, and redeploy her off with the first message to calm the troops who I am sensing now, are starting to get concerned, despite Patcee’s efforts to keep them busy with tasks of preparation. There are only so many shells you can place in the circle, and so many pieces of drift wood to place in the appropriate places in the sand to create a wedding aisle by which the bride will enter her new life.

I continue to scan the cars entering the parking lot – another reprieve comes 10 minutes later, by way of Kirsten’s two remaining aunts cheerfully walking up with news that yes, the rumors are true, the bride is coming “should be here any minute” I thank Marie and Ann and send them along as well. – Seth and Ben (Kirsten’s brothers) approach looking like Hollywood hipsters, so cool, so calm - auburn versions of Elvis Costello - I get the courage to ask the unthinkable question – “Has she had a change of heart?” Seth is the first respond, the cool attitude gives way to incredible warmth as he assures me – “She is coming, there is nothing to worry about, she just wants to be perfect” – although this is my 3rd confirmation – it is the first that really assures me, Seth, Ben and Kirsten are close. I ask Seth to please go down to the beach and tell Keaton specifically, because although I am 300 yards away, I can feel him, and Keaton is now officially scared to death that Kirsten is not coming. Ben and Seth jump at a chance to be helpful, and head down to the beach to assure the groom he will not be left at the alter or in this case the circle of rocks, shells and chosen loved ones. Travis now abandons his post at the fence near the stairs, and heads down to the beach area where the ceremony is to take place to take some photos of the wedding party, leaving Dan to baby sit me. Dan is sweet and funny, making comments about the folks leaving the beach to pass the time, I hear him somewhere in the way back of my head – what feels like forever passes, but in reality is only a few more minutes, and the van with the bride arrives. The doors open and out steps Kirsten – at once my breath is taken completely away.

She has accomplished her goal, she looks perfect! Her beautiful dress hugging her curves in all the right places. Her face is lightly accented, but not over done, and her hair is done to frame her expressive face which is open, honest, and full of love – although, as she steps out of the van and into the parking lot, there is a look of determination, and stress on her face. My heart lights up as I realize that she is wearing the earrings I had chosen for her a few days earlier. She owns the moment.

Catherine, her mother, parks the van and hurry’s over to join us. She is beaming from head to toe – her own beautiful face emitting calm and positive energy, her daughter, her pride and joy is about to marry a man she approves of – and she is doing her best to take in this experience as big as it is. Kirsten stands surrounded by her girlfriends, who have traveled from out of town and are attending her as a bride should be attended too; fussing over her dress, and handing sunglasses, etc. Somehow her brothers’ notice that their baby sister has arrived, and they are there, quickly, ready to do their job – for today, they are giving their sister away. I am suddenly aware of a box that I have been holding with a death grip in my hands, it is the rings – and I need the engagement ring to add to the set. I retrieve it, and make a bee-line for the wedding group. I want to be there when she makes her way down the beach to us.

My father, Tim, is performing the ceremony. This is something that pleases Keaton with his whole heart; his grandfather, his hero, means the world to him. It is all coming together perfectly - the group who up until this point has been enjoying the sunshine and sand, catching up, reminiscing, spontaneously starts to pull together forming a tight and intimate circle around the groom who is transfixed by his love as she walks with both of her arms gathering up her skirt, as Ben and Seth do their best to guide her forward. The energy is palpable, as Kirsten walks down the aisle applause and joyful laughter break out. Jackson standing tall in the circle slightly behind his brother, he is the best man, and he is doing his job with all the “grown up” he has in him, holding the ring box, and waiting for his cue. Kirsten is now in the circle placed across from Keaton and, frankly, is doing her best to look at him. We have messed up, and placed her looking directly into the sun. Had we shifted them slightly what she would have seen is a man completely undone by his love for her, tears in his eyes, feeling like the luckiest man in the whole world, and doing his best to hold it together.

Tim begins the ceremony, and welcomes the group, and then immediately turns the floor or sand in this case over to Catherine who has a poem to share with the group, the poem is by a poet who was one of Kirsten’s father’s favorites, and is a fitting tribute to a man who is no longer with us, as well as a family who values poetry. It describes love and marriage – and gives the bride and groom a moment to get comfortable in the circle while a lovely tone is set. Tim takes it from there and wastes no time talking about marriage, and what it means – the circle tightening as we lean in to take in the couple and his words over the sound of the waves and surf. There are agreements made, vows recited, and rings exchanged the feelings building as the group basks in the moment. I lean into to James holding his hand squeezing it as they say “I do” – we are all re-affirming our love, participating in this new union. With that, Tim pronounces them husband and wife, and tells them that they may now have their first kiss as married couple. They do kiss – leaning in and taking their time, they are now completely and totally in their own little world, amazed at how much deeper their love is after just a moment in time. The circle thrills in the kiss and some giggle that is takes a little longer than most. And then it is hugging all around and congratulations before they are pressed into 45 minutes or so of servitude for pictures.

After the ceremony we all head to the reception/after party. I think after party is the best way to describe it, for this has been a production and the select group who attended now all feel closer to each other – people who 24 hours previously were strangers are now gathering, exploring and finding each other. We feel remarkably comfortable, like we have known each other for years – amazed at our collective experiences and shared interests. There is wonderful food prepared by the aunts, who remind me of 3 guardian angels or fairy godmothers, such love and care put into everything. Ben and Seth are acting as both D.J’s (with help from Kristi) and bartenders – making sure the vibe is flowing along with the drinks. Catherine is hosting and taking a moment to enjoy each of her guests, learning as much as she can from each about her new son-in-law, or maybe a story about Kirsten she didn’t know. Travis is everywhere capturing not only the moments but the spirit of the event. Joy fills the room and spills out onto the deck as the sun and ocean sounds stream in.

By the end of the evening there would be toasts, cutting of the cake (so yummy from Gayle’s Bakery) and eventually a swim in the ocean, The party continues the next morning with a nice long visit back at the brides beach house with Jorri picking up some musical mentors (Ben and Seth), and James making a date with Ann to go to a Rockies game in Denver and a lovely invitation to visit from Marie. Keaton may have gained a wife – but we truly feel like we gained an entire family. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to all. I feel like I have hit the lottery of love!!! Cheers – and I promise I will get back to the regular Bliss on a Budget in the near future.

For My Father on Father's Day - I love you Dad

I’m a daddy’s girl. I always have been. When I was a child I remember going to the beach with my father when I was 3 and 4 years old. He had the Porche, and we would strap the surf board on the car (we had some sort of custom mount) and take off for the beach, just he and I. We would drive from Campbell over the mountain into Santa Cruz, taking a special back road, that didn’t have any of those pesky state troopers so we could speed, and hug the turns, and practice our race car driving. He would always make sure to look over at me with a smile, and say something like “Hang on” or “We don’t need to tell mom, about this” When we would arrive at the cove – He would grab his board, and head out to surf for several hours, while I would play on the beach, make friends with strangers, and happily build sand castles and swim with my new friends. (I know, that sounds slightly dangerous, but it was a completely different time then, and I was a very precocious child – so I assume, they thought if someone kidnapped me, they would return me straight away) After the good waves were done for the day, we would hop back in the Porche, and make our way to the candy shop where there were wonderful white chocolate drops, or the grocery store, that always had grape or orange soda, and then a sun kissed and sleepy drive home over the mountain.

At this same age- my mother must have been busy with church work, or taking a class at the local college, but there was at least one night a week, were dad and I were left on our own. This night was my favorite – I was definitely going to stay up and extra hour or so, and get to sit by my father and watch Rockford files, and then when he did put me to bed, he would get out his guitar and sing me to sleep. Song’s from Peter, Paul, and Mary, The Kingston Trio, or John Denver, taught me about Tom Dooley, The MTA, and my most favorite Leaving on a Jet plane. I love acoustic guitar because of my father, and feel like my heart is going to burst wide open every time I hear him play, especially when Keaton joins him as well.

My father……

- Is Cooler then Fonzie and Stronger then Superman.
- Tells wonderful and engaging stories
- Always took me on daddy daughter trips for my birthday
- Bought me the Xanadu soundtrack for my 12th birthday
- Taught me to sail, and always acted like he could not do it without me.
- Filled my car with gas, washed it, pre-set my stations to the cool ones, came and saved me when it broke down, and always let me go ahead and take his car where I needed to go.
- Taught me about rewards programs, I am a second generation Delta, Hertz and Marriott girl.
- Is handsome, my girlfriends in high school used to say – “no offense Jenn, but I would totally date your dad, he’s hot!”
- Brags about me, to anyone who will listen, it always makes me smile and fills my heart when I hear other people talk about the lovely things my father says.
- Is always up for an adventure.
- Is comfortable in any setting
- Makes friends instantly
- Loves food, and will tell you about a trip simply by describing the incredible restaurants, and amazing meals he ate.
- Had an infectious smile and a laugh that draws you in
- Loves my mother, and treats her with complete respect, and is her best friend
- Is a wonderful grandfather, and has captured the hearts of my children
- Is fun!!
- Moved me to Florida across the country, and walked my down the isle – Twice!!
- Loves my children, and they feel it all the way to their toes.
- Takes Keaton on a special trip to the car show in Carmel every year – it is a special thing they have done for years.
- Always has a sports car, and lets me take it when I need to make an impression.
- Is completely loved and respected by my husband
- Is a wonderful father
- Is my hero!

Having a baby as a single woman at 20 years old is scary, incredibly scary. I had been acting brave, and shrugging off the doubts of all that knew me for my whole pregnancy. But when the moment arrived the whole, ”I am really going to have this baby”, nearly made me want to turn around and go home – as if, if I could just get out of the hospital, the pain would stop, and we could forget this whole thing. Keaton was a very large baby weighing in at 9 pounds, 2 ounces. I, having never been through this experience, thought that this was normal. He also had a good sized head but massive shoulders. After 2 and ½ hours of pushing, no pain meds, and the help of forceps I had finally managed to get his head out, but then the really frightening part happened. I could not get his shoulders out to save my life. Everything got a little tense then. My mother, who had been by my side helping me through, got pale and concerned and eventually had to leave the room. My nurse with furrowed brows was talking very sternly at me now, and telling me this is when it counted, my doctors barking orders and telling me to push. I was seriously starting to lose it, thinking “I should be dead by now, no really, I can’t believe I am still alive, this isn’t fair” – and then there was my dad – holding my leg, right in my face, the coach – “Jennifer (my whole name) listen to me, you can do this, concentrate”(He said this very firmly, and with urgency) and I found my way back through the fog of pain – and tried some more –my motivation was I didn’t want to disappoint my dad – I had long ago forgotten why this was happening to me, oh yes – I am dying because I am having a baby. And after what felt like forever, but was really 3-4 minutes – I finally pushed Keaton’s massive shoulders out.

And with that – Keaton made his big debut into this world. The doctor and nurses worked on him for several minutes and then placed him on chest. We just looked at each other maybe for 30 seconds – and then he was whisked off my chest, and handed to my father – It was a bond that was immediate, and lasting – and in that moment he not was just my dad, he was the proud grandfather of a strapping baby boy. That strapping boy is all grown up now, getting married, and the most wonderful thing is happening – My dad is going to marry Keaton and Kirsten, on the beach, and the circle of love continues.

I love you dad, I love you all the way around the world and back. You are the reason, I am brave, and will try new things, you are the best father that any kid could ever want, and I feel incredibly lucky that of all the dads in the world – I won the lottery, and I got you!!!! Happy Father’s Day!!

The News

Why does news always start with a phone call? It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s good or bad – The phone is the way it is delivered. This news started with a phone call – The phone rang, I of course looked down and checked it (thank heaven for caller id) it was Keaton. I checked the time again – yes, it really was 7:30 a.m. his time – This must be something terrible (I read this and think – my goodness Jenn, you are such a pessimist) I pick up the phone and hold my breath. “Hey” I say trying to sound calm, “What’s up?” – but the chip and bite are in my tone – he hears it immediately, and to make matters worse he has news to deliver that he desperately wants me to be “okay” with – happy about it is simply beyond his ability to get his head around at this point. “Mom is this a good time, because I have something to tell you, and this conversation might take a while, so is this a good time?” Right! Like after that opener I am going to tell him that I am awfully busy and important and can he just call me back later – Of course now is a good time – I brace myself and think, well he is alive - so scratch that off the list, what’s next – did he get thrown out of the program – that seems unlikely – I mean he just got back home from his short visit here – goodness the suspense is killing me (all .001 seconds of it) and as he begins to speak, I know the answer already – cut to the previous Friday

Keaton was in town for a whopping 5 days. On “leave” from his language program – we were so excited and waited with anticipation at the airport when he landed at 10 p.m. Jackson already up 30 minutes past his bedtime, and jockeying with Tim for position on who would get to hug Keaton first! – Tim and Patcee had made the hour long trek to the airport this late because, after all, it was Keaton!! Finally he walked guitar in hand, through the security corridor, only to be met by Jackson who nearly knocked him down with the force of his hug. Jackson beamed, his big brother was home! Although we had all eaten at the regular dinner hour – we immediately adjourned to the local Denny’s to giggle and laugh, catch up, and soak him in. He was wearing Army issue glasses, “that will simply not due”, we thought (well me, Patcee and Tim – thought – mental note: fix that first thing in the morning) but he was thinner, and buffer and seemed very happy – so we were happy and the evening went well past all of our bedtimes – but we didn’t care – Keaton’s Home!!! When we finally made it back to the house – I had to promise Jackson that “yes – Keaton will be here in the morning” before I could convince him to close his eyes and go to sleep, morning would come very quickly for that boy.

But I digress – back to the Friday prior. We were at a movie – well Keaton, Kennedy, James and I were - the long awaited premier of a movie that we hoped to laugh a lot at. I was taking a trip to the bathroom (precautionary really) and as I rounded the corner back to the theater, there was Keaton, his back to me, on his cell phone, leaving someone a message. I mistakenly thought for a moment he must be making plans for after the movie with his friends, but then I caught his tone, and it was not a friend tone, it had intimacy in it, love and want, with a definite “missing you” mixed in - this was different, this was his girl, he had just started to leave the message and I could hear in his words what had not been discussed with me, Keaton was in love. As I continued to walk to the theater I passed by him and feigned interest in something ahead of me, he turned to see me walk past him, and lowered his voice – this message was just for her. I knew in that moment that I had lost my boy. I was definitely never going to be the woman in his life again.

I was able to push that thought back out of my head for the movie – and we did laugh, and laugh some more – but when he had left for the evening with his friends, the thought came back, and I had a chance to kind of walk around in it in my head. Keaton was gone, oh sure he would always love me, but the thing that we all hope for, for our children, had happened – he was in love – and his heart now belonged to her. Until that happens you can’t really know what a mix of sadness and joy takes place. I was sad because Keaton had been not only my son, but one of my best friends in the world. We had been through thick (really thick, and even thicker) and thin together. But I felt overwhelming joy because love is the end game, it is all there is really, finding, sharing in and having love – the rest really is just noise.

And so that night I decided that prior to Keaton going back to California I need to talk to him, and let him know it was “okay” – not that he needed my permission – but as connected as Keaton and I are – I wanted to make sure I was never the person in the way of what he wanted in life. That morning, before he needed to go to the airport, I walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen where he and James were eating breakfast. From the safety of behind the countertop I looked at him and said – “I need to tell you something” – big tears immediately filled my eyes, and I took a moment to steady my voice in vain – Keaton looked at me choking back his own tears – he didn’t even know what I was going to say – but whenever I get teary, he gets teary – and then I said it – “I know that you’re in love, and I want you to know, it’s okay!” tears were now streaming down my face “I am sure that if you love her, I will love her, because after all, like energy attracts like energy, and so she is probably as wonderful as you” – Keaton looked at me, a mixture of relief and concern for my heart on his face – Stood up, walked over to me, and wrapped him huge arms around me, while I blubbered into his shoulder –“Mom, you know I will love you forever – it will be okay” I answered “Shut up – I’m serious” while James looked over from the kitchen table trying to act like this very private moment between a mother and her son wasn’t going on in the same room as him, burying his face in his computer, and give warning looks at Jackson – like “stay out of this – this is bigger than you and I”

And so when Keaton began to speak and I heard the next words come out of his mouth – I did think – Holy Moly – that was fast, but I wasn’t completely surprised – “Mom, June and I are getting married” (her name isn’t actually June – It’s Kirsten – but that is for another day) he was talking quickly now, trying to get it all out and over to me, like ripping off a band aid, “And we are doing it at the end of June and I would really like it like it if you would come” – There it was, Keaton is getting married – Are you happy for me mom? There was so much hope in his voice – “Yes Keaton I am happy for you” – of course there was negotiating at this point for time – how does one get married in 30 days – but they aren’t looking for a big wedding with 3000 of their closest friends – they just want to start their lives together. Now!! – there is the urgency of Now, when you are in the Army.

And so I am pleased to announce that we are getting another daughter – Kirsten June –She is amazing, smart, beautiful, talented and best of all loves Keaton and makes him incredibly happy. Of, course – we all have our fingers crossed that she will love and adore us as well. My whole goal in life is to just be a great mother-in-law, and do my best not to meddle, take over, or control things (completely counter-intuitive – I know) The Good News is Keaton and Kirsten are getting married!! To a future of love and happily ever after!!

The Fountain - A Musing

The fountain was nothing spectacular, a typical downtown fountain really – It changed directions, brought water from different angles – you know that type of thing. The day was absolutely gorgeous – sunny and blue (maybe one of the first sunny days in a string of rainy and dreary days) The sun bringing out the bikers, corporate lunchtime walkers, derelicts who muttered to themselves, picture taking tourists, and best of all – children on school field trips.

Kids of any age have a hard time avoiding a fountain – I mean, there it is - just shooting water out, up and then down again – there are coins to be thrown in, wishes to be made, depending on the temperature – toes to be dipped in, maybe even an ankle. But these kids were on field trips. They had “responsible adults” counting and recounting them, keeping the ones with too much energy in line, warning them with stern looks and cautioning fingers. But in the end, the fountain must be heeded, the water must be felt, there is simply nothing else their childlike souls can do.

The first group of children walked up, ages 9-10, their eyes all cast upon the fountain transfixed by the rushing water, straining against the invisible boundaries that had been imposed by their teacher prior to unloading off the bus. A few could not help it – they just had to get closer – and with them, their parent chaperones that still had some wonderment left in their spirits. “We won’t get in” you could almost hear them tell themselves, we will just pop our fingers in the water for a moment. One parent organized his charges near a concrete block, fountain in the back, and took their toothy pictures, smiling from ear to ear. “That grown-up is better than our grown-up” you could see in the eyes of children who stayed in line.

The next group of children was smaller in numbers and maybe 11-12 years old, but deaf. This discussion was very different. The teacher was signing like crazy, with much sternness in her gestures – I don’t understand sign language but I knew exactly what she was saying “DO NOT get in that water, I MEAN IT – don’t test me on this – big trouble – no really I mean it” the children signing back to her, resigned “yes, we understand”, still turning their heads back to stare at the water, then back at the teacher, then back at the water. Once they had finished eating their sack lunches on the benches near the grass – they found a way to take their trash, to the can closest to the fountain – in the end they were allowed to place their hands in the stream of water shooting out from the edges into the middle. Then, quickly moved away, and on to the next phase of the field trip.

Next – my personal favorite – the little girl about 8 years old, small with a cute “page boy” haircut, clothes - bathed in glitter and flare (you know this girl must have a name like Chloe or Lucy). She approaches the fountain with her hip slightly cocked to one side, and then, fully in the moment, she puffs out her chest,tilts her head up and shakes it abit, and takes her arms slowly up and out conducting a symphony of water – bright eyes, performing, knowing that people may be watching her, and "hamming it up" for their benefit – This is the type of child that is always “on” and auditioning to be discovered – by who, she doesn’t even know. After a while she draws her awkward, bigger, side kick friend into the dance – and they both move with the fountain of music.

I am slightly surprised by the children that finally succumb to the siren call of the water. It’s teenagers – 14 and 15 years olds - 6 girls and 3 boys (of course there is one boy that is cuter then the other two, and the girls are doing what girls that age do – preening and competing for the attention of that boy) so the braver of the girls starts slowly, flirting with the water and the boy, getting closer, retreating, going in a little farther, getting a little wetter, until there is nothing left to do but go “all in” and with that she starts on one side of the fountain and runs with full joy, and astonishment at what she is doing from one side of the rushing water to the other side – drenched, grinning, a trail blazer – and with that the spell is broken – the entire teenage brigade must follow her through.

• I sit on the sidelines, enjoying the show – clapping ovations for the children who are taking the plunge – completely content with my front row seat to the water show.

Bliss on a Budget - Laughter is Bliss

Laughter Bliss

The joke goes pretty much like this – There are two Monkeys sitting in a bathtub. The first one says “scratch my back Mac” the other one says “That’s okay Joe, I have a radio of my own” – Start laughing really hard now.

No – you haven’t missed anything – that is the famous Tim Powers “Monkey” joke. And when I was a kid – I heard that joke, anytime someone new came to the house for dinner (swimmers, friends, dates, extended family, etc) We would be sitting at the kitchen table having dinner promptly at 6:00 pm and after the usual dinner conversation there would ultimately be a lull in the conversation. At which time my dad would get a twinkle in his eye (my father is probably one of the most confident men I know – so he simply says anything he would like, with full confidence that it will be met with nothing but positive results) the look would essentially signal that something delightful was about to unfold. I knew the look, my sister and mother knew the look, (we each had very different reactions to the look – Mine was co-conspirator, my mother – “oh no, not this again”, Emily – part conspirator, part nervous wreck, not wanting anyone to feel bad) and with that my father would say with a huge smile on his face, and great enthusiasm – “hey, have you heard the Monkey joke?” – Not, in all my years of sitting at that table had anyone ever heard the Monkey joke. And so, once he had confirmation of that, he would launch into the Monkey joke, as if he was telling our guest the single funniest joke in the history of the world. At the end, he and I would throw our heads back and break into big laughter and really sell it.

Each and every time people would have a slightly different reaction. Some would laugh in an effort to make my father feel good about his joke, others would look confused and ask him to tell it again, some would simply try and work it out in their heads. These reactions would build upon each re-telling of the simple joke above, with my father getting more animated each time. We (the family – understanding the joke) would watch their faces and read their thoughts – and that would send us really laughing – no longer selling – we were simply laughing at their reaction to the joke. As I am writing this – it occurs to me, how slightly mean this sounds – but we didn’t really have people over who were overly sensitive (at least, I hope not) The laughter would sometimes continue through the remainder of dinner, and dessert, until my face hurt from smiling and my stomach from all the laughter, tears of delight streaming down my face until ultimately my father would walk the visitor through the joke, bestowing it on them, a rite of passage if you will, and giving them freedom to use it again at will, to go forth and have their own laughter filled moments.

Story telling is something the Powers family does particularly well. We love a good story! And whether it is (one of literally thousands of stories) my father telling of the time he and Buck acted like homeless people to get a free meal at the shelter, or Pam telling of the time she went on a date with a blind man and he insisted on driving (think about that for a moment) or Leslie and the drunk man who broke into her hotel room and needed to be wrestled (by Leslie no less) to the ground, you feel like you are there in the moment when we tell a story. We lay out the characters, we usually will get up and act out the parts (occasionally dancing as well) – we use accents and voices – we build the back story, and bring you along – so that by the end you want to come with us – you want to be delighted and to laugh, and you are so happy you decided to stay and play with us – and hear our stories. And most importantly you laugh, you laugh until you can hardly stand it, and then when that laughter is over you wait for the next story to wash upon you and give you another moment just like that. The good news is – with a blog you may actually get to hear a lot of our stories. But as I was thinking about what to write in my blog this week, I decided this week should be about laughter.

Everyone has heard the old adage “Laughter is the best medicine” I believe this with my whole body. I love to laugh – which may sound strange because – doesn’t everyone want to laugh? But surprisingly there are a lot of people in the world – who simply get lost in their day to day struggle and forget to laugh. They get a hard exterior, a shell, and as that shell builds up other people laughing actually starts to affect them in a negative way – you know like “who, the hell, are they, to be so happy?” These people have a choice, we all have a choice, - Like energy attracts like energy – so attract some laughter – and you will, in effect, be attracting happiness.

Now when I say I like to laugh – that generally isn’t because of a joke like the one above. I actually really don’t like it when people tell me jokes. Because I find that a majority of the jokes people try to tell me have one of the following elements; racism, dumb blonde, sexism, dirty, etc. I am actually a pretty conservative girl at heart, and I have a hard time hearing a joke about anything that would fall into one of those categories – because I think those kind of jokes bring the wrong kind of energy. So when someone does start to tell me a joke, of any kind really, the following conversation starts happening in my head:

“Oh no, they are telling a joke? Goodness what on earth is this joke about? Is it okay? Oh no, I just realized I am not listening – I am just acting like I am listening, oh no they are really excited about this joke, oh no, I am not really listening at all, this is not good, good gracious, they are going stop telling this joke soon and get to the punch line and I am not going to have any idea what is was about. Oh no they are going to think I don’t get it, but I haven’t been listening – oh no – they stopped – laugh Jenn, Laugh – quick repeat the last phrase and laugh – good lord – please don’t tell another joke!”

So with that in mind – most of my humor comes from finding the humor in my everyday life. When Keaton lived in Utah, he would go and run errands with me, and we would spend the whole day talking in New Zealand accents – completely cracking each other up. Kennedy and I can laugh until we almost wet ourselves over the details of what happened at school that day. Jackson and James are the most constant entertainment. My friends and I laugh simply at how we react to each other. We are a family of laughers – We use humor to handle the stress that life throws at us – and so consequently the things that get thrown at us – seem not nearly as bad as they look on paper.

So here is my assignment with this week’s bliss on a budget – Go get your laugh on. Go to a comedy club, or re-watch a funny movie my suggestions would include (The Inlaws(the original) What about Bob, What’s up Doc, Meet the parents) – watch some episodes of a funny television show like Friends (the one with Ross and the Leather pants, or Joey and the eyebrow waxing) find some real friends and sit in your kitchen and tell stories and laugh at each other – James and I did this the other night with our friends – It’s amazing how funny the words Interstate, Ce-ment, and Corral can be. Smile at the people in line at the store, airport, restaurant, etc. – give compliments to people who need them. Laugh at how silly you are – be Silly!!! You will find that laughter is bliss – and you can have a lifetime supply – absolutely FREE!!

Things that Matter - Mother's Matter

For My Mother on Mother’s Day

One of the earliest memories I have of my mother is on what I think is my 2nd or 3rd birthday. We were living in the apartments in San Jose. Because it was my birthday – my mother had taken me to the grocery store to pick out a cake mix (she would never in a million years make a cake mix now – and I suspect, that even then, she was doing it because I must have insisted) – any one that I wanted. This decision quite delighted me, and I looked them over with care, and selected the pink cherry cake, with pink cherry frosting. We made the purchase and went home to make the cake – I was completely thrilled – and soon enough, there was a pink two layer cake with pink frosting, and it looked to my untrained eyes just like the one on the box.

This was going to be “good stuff” – Soon there were children assembled to come over to our small home to enjoy my birthday cake with me – Here is the thing about those children, I had no idea who they were. I have no idea to this day how she found them – they must have come from church or something – but they came and sang happy birthday to me, and crowded around the table that we had in that small apartment kitchen – and then it was time to cut the cake – and here is the deal – I don’t like cherry cake, or cherry icing. So my mother had gone to all that trouble to make the cake I wanted for my birthday and I took maybe one bite, and then wasn’t even going to eat it. But she wasn’t even mad at me. It just rolled off her back, and I am sure she laughed about it later.

That is the thing about my mother – she is a planner, and she is excellent at execution, she has great vision and eye, and always knows how to do things the “right” way for the moment, but if it all falls apart – she doesn’t fall apart – she rolls with it. Even as I, or the people who know her best, can watch her mind take a moment – to make it okay in her head. Then it is a smile, and moving on….
My mother……

- Made breakfast for me every day of my entire life until I moved out of the house, and I even then when I come home, she makes breakfast for me. She also made dinner!
- Dropped everything she was doing to come to my side every time I needed her ie: Keaton skiing accident, Kennedy newborn hospitalization or subsequent hospital stays, - I am actually reminded of that Indigo girls song that goes “When I needed my mother and I called her – she stayed with me for days”
- Planned, paid for and executed – not only my first wedding but my 2nd one – and both were absolutely perfect!!
- Makes me laugh!
- Is completely beautiful!
- Always has a calm and peaceful home
- Took me on bus rides, train rides, skiing, hiking and adventures when I was a kid.
- Made my favorite meal for my birthday every year without fail.
- Made my Halloween costumes, and Easter dresses from Scratch and they were always the best.
- Would occasionally pack me a lunch for school, and would always write me little love notes on my napkin to tell me things special about me.
- Thinks I am so funny
- Is the greatest grandmother – she always brings love and new experiences into my children’s lives.
- Used to make play dough and I would have fun with it for hours.
- Has always pursued her passions – and thus – they have become our passions – I have my love of art because of my mother.
- Used to read books to me most nights before bed, even when I was in 5th and 6th grade – I loved sitting with my mother and listening to her read.
- Drove all the way to Pocatello, Idaho and spent the night in a hotel just to see Jorri perform in a play.
- Comes to the kids events; baseball, karate tournament, football, etc.
- Always volunteered to be a room mother at school. She also went to each and every parent teacher conference and made notes and then came home and gave me a “good news is and you need to work on”….briefing
- Always took the collect calls, and difficult calls where I was delivering bad news – and no matter what I said – she still loved me.
- Carpooled to and from, I don’t know how many dance lessons, recitals, performances – swim meets and she was always out in the audience and was always cheering for me.
- Made sure that if there was something that was important to me, that somehow, someway I would get it.
- Took me across the country on 20 dollars a day, and across Europe on 30
- Put up with door slamming, name calling, big attitude, arguing that never seemed to end, entitlement, expectations, and bossy-ness and still loved me.
- Limited the amount of TV I watched and always had wheat bread in the house – because it was good for me.
- Is a great story listener
- Never has a bad thing to say about anyone – which is a good balance to me – because – well we all know that.
- Loves my husband
- Flirts with salesmen that work in retail 
- Helped me deliver 2 babies – and raise 3.
- Gave me a roof over my head long after I should have been putting a roof over my own.
- Cries when I cry
- Takes me to the beach every year
- Throws me baby showers, going away, coming home, and “you did it parties”
- Brings me flowers in the hospital
- Gets tickets to the concert, game, event, etc.
- Takes an interest in……
- Worries about me when I travel alone
- Prays for me
- Loves me with her whole heart –

When I was 19 years old – I was definitely the girl who was playing with fire. I was living in Arizona with my friend Jenn Hawkins. I remember going to the grocery store and standing in front of the pregnancy tests and trying to figure out which one to buy. A stranger walked by and recommended one to Jenn and I. Jenn was being strong. She grabbed it – and walked up to the counter and paid. I was in a fog the whole way home to take the test, praying that it would all work out. I remember going into the apartment bathroom and sitting on the toilet and reading the instructions thoroughly – I may have even read them in Spanish – after following them carefully – I put the test on the counter and went out to sit down and watch TV, trying to help my mind stop racing while the time went by. After about 5 minutes – I walked into the bathroom and with major butterflies in my stomach – I looked down at the test. Positive – not even faintly positive – Boldly Positive! It was confirmation of what I already knew – I was going to have a baby. Jenn did her best to console me and give me alternative reasons for the positive – but it was positive – and I knew it in my body.

Without taking even a moment to consider what would happen – I sat down on the couch, grabbed the phone and called my mother.

“Mom?” – (I was starting to feel like I was going to throw up, and not make it through the call)
“Hello Jennifer (excited to hear from me) – How are you?”
“I’m okay – I have something to tell you, and you might want to sit down” – (I was not going to beat around the bush with this – the direct approach is all I had)
“Okay – What is it?”
“I’m pregnant” (There I said it – it’s out there)
“Oh, (pause) Are you okay?”
“I’m really sick mom”
“Uh huh – I actually just came home from a church meeting about unwed pregnancy – so this is perfect timing”
“Okay” – (Me slightly stunned by the direction this had gone)
“Jennifer – It will be okay, we will figure this out, I love you!”

I honestly have no idea how we got off the phone at that point – but two things had happened. I had called my mom and told her the news, and she had heard the news, and still loved me. There was no yelling, no making me feel bad for my decisions, or lack of judgment – just immediate support and love. Without that moment, without that support, I would not have the life and family I have today.

My mother is the blueprint of how to do things right. She is the standard that I hold myself too, and most often come up short. She is the one who’s opinion matters, who I want to make happy and proud. If all the mothers in the whole world were lined up and I could pick any one I wanted. I would pick her, hands down – each and every time – without hesitation, and with my whole heart.

I love you mom! Thank you for everything!

Bliss On A Budget - Brunch Bliss

It’s that time again. The weather according to what I learned in grade school is going to warm up. You know – we all learned, April showers bring May flowers. Right?!! We were promised. I believed – thus, it is going to happen – I will simply will it. This is the time of year for eating on your deck or patio, for lovely potted plants to surround you, for new buds, and vines to emerge and spring forward with life - for the warmth of the sun to hit your shoulders and face and warm them up to just the right temperature – Not to hot, not to cold – Just right! There should be canvas umbrellas, and music to set the mood. Eating is not ever just about the food, eating is a celebration of the cook, of friends, family and life, and of course about lovely and yummy food. So in this vein, I am a big believer in Brunch. Brunch is the best way to start out any Saturday or Sunday – it is something that must be done during this time of year.

My mother is the Queen of setting a beautiful table. I have never been over to her house to eat a meal when the table wasn’t set, just right. We are not talking about just having the knives, forks, and napkins in the right place – we are talking about every table having a theme – At Christmas the table is set with the fine china, sterling silver, ornaments, candles, and napkins in the appropriate spirit don the table. The lighting is just right – the glasses are elegant – and just to be invited to the table – is to be valued and loved. At St. Patrick’s Day there are Irish prayers and poetry specifically picked out with each diner in mind, at Valentine’s Day – Hearts and Love letters abound. (When I was growing up on Valentine’s Day I would come down stairs to breakfast to be greeted by pink heart shaped pancakes – I know as always it sounds too good to be true) Always with the greatest care, always with the most beautiful presentation, the table is the foundation for the meal. A beautiful table is simply the only way to serve the gourmet food that she and my father are preparing away in their dream kitchen.

The food, oh the food, is quite another story – My mother and father are foodies. The watch cooking shows – in fact when I was a child my mother and I used to pretend to be on a cooking show when making cookies in our kitchen. She and I would talk to the “camera” and explain what we were making and doing step by step to the imaginary audience. Often speaking in fake French or Southern (I have no idea why we would do Southern – my southern accents makes my mother laugh and laugh – and once I have started I can’t stop – she on the other hand can’t do a southern accent to save her life) accents – Anyway, they watch cooking shows, and read cooking books – and although they will absolutely deny it – they attend a somewhat secret gourmet club – which is not as fancy as the one in the movie “The Freshmen” but when I picture it in my head, it is. They have friends that are foodies – and when they travel they like to eat at the most foodie – esq restaurants.

Now – not all of the food is successful – sometimes Tim and Patcee decide to go “off recipe” which can be a disaster, but can also turn out even better. So when you go to eat at my parents’ home – you are really in for a culinary experience. All this great food and lovely ambience has completely spoiled me. I have become a food snob. I didn’t mean to be, it just simply happened. I find myself trying to take over others peoples dinners to add the touches that I think are absolute staples if you are going to have people over to eat. Things like flowers, ribbon, napkins, etc. James – bless his heart (I have no idea when I started using that expression) does his best to talk me down with things like – “Jenn, it’s not your dinner” or “Jenn – If you bring your own glasses this evening – they will be offended” (which I am sure is very true – but come on people – certain drinks go in certain glasses – and if they aren’t – well it just doesn’t taste as good – and (see what I mean a food snob)) any way – in order to kind of get snobbery out of my system – I felt like today being Easter and all – would be a good day to give you your Bliss on a Budget Assignment – and this week is a Brunch Bliss.

But wait there are rules I want you to experience Brunch the right way (which means the Jenn way) – I have always been this way. When I was a little girl my mother took me to the park which had an enormous sand box. When I got to the sand box I immediately took off my shoes and shoved my bare feet into the cool grains of sand. I loved the way the sand felt on my toes and feet. My mother went nearby to a bench to read a book or something – and at that moment I located some other children to play with. But upon approaching them – I noticed that they all had their shoes and socks on still. This was something that I could not get my head around – How could they enjoy the sand with shoes on? Were they unaware of how wonderful the sand would feel on their feet? Well there was simply only one thing to do – We must remove their shoes and socks and give them this experience. At once I began taking off all their shoes and socks. Some enjoyed it; some were fearful and looked to the mothers to help stop this bossy toddler from taking their shoes. Finally – I had caused enough commotion that my mother realized this she would need to step in. The other mothers simply could not have her daughter taking off their children’s shoes.

My mother being the “diverter” that she is – simply grabbed my hand and offered a new adventure - probably something from the ice cream truck, or a ride on the city bus – and she and I were off to our next adventure forgetting about those poor children that didn’t understand the wonders of bare feet in sand. I actually never grew out of that one – when James and I went on our first vacation together we went to the beach in San Diego. I love to take off my shoes and walk for miles up and down the beach. James being an Idaho farm boy did not have what I would categorize as a “proper appreciation” for the beach. So when it was time to walk on the beach he was attempting to do so WITH his shoes on. I was astounded and slightly concerned that I could no longer love this man. So after I insisted (I am sure he was thinking I was a wack job – you walk around on a farm without shoes – you lose toes) he relented and walked, uncomfortably, down the beach holding his shoes. After some years – he learned that of course this is the only way to do it.

Back to brunch, you must be saying, back to brunch – Okay, so back to brunch. Here are the rules:
1- You cannot have brunch at a chain restaurant! I am not flexible on this – the food is always better at a one of kind, or mom and pop shop.
2- You must pick your companions for this brunch carefully. No one who is going to bring children who would disrupt, run around, cry tantrum, etc. You know who those people are and as much as you like them – they can’t come unless they are willing to leave the children home. Lovely, well mannered, children are always welcome.
3- You should pick some place where you would want to put some effort into what you are wearing. There is nothing worse than dinning at a lovely restaurant – and looking homeless. Your clothes must be ironed. Brunch is better when you are looking glamorous.
4- If at all possible pick a place with an outside patio or deck. If you need to call ahead and make reservations – then by all means do.
5- Sunglasses are a must, so is sunscreen – we don’t want to get wrinkles.
6-Don’t rush through your meal – You should be at brunch for 2 hours. This will allow you to enjoy a lovely meal, have some lovely conversation, and digest enough to share a dessert with the table.
7-After the brunch you should try to partake in some of the after brunch activities listed below:
a. Stroll through a local art gallery
b. Take in the shops in the area.
c. Attend a concert in a park or ski area
d. Read the newspaper (the paper kind) from back to front.
e. Get a massage or facial.
f. Make travel plans

I think that is all the rules – they after activities should be something you can enjoy with part of your brunch group. The point is Brunch should be a lovely experience, with a beautiful table, yummy and interesting food, great friends for conversation – and nothing that isn’t relaxing, and restful should be part of the process.

Now – If you are in SLC or Provo I have some tips on where to go. I can’t guarantee the whole tab will be under 50.00 but your portion should easily be. Here is where I suggest:
- Eggs in the City: (Limited seating, a popular favorite, so it makes sense to call and see when they would recommend that you come) – 1300 South and about 1700 East.
- Trio: There are two locations, one in the 9th and 9th area – and one at the bottom of cottonwood canyon.
- The Park Café: Liberty Park about 6th East and 11 south.
- Sundance: Up Provo Canyon the grill room is always lovely
- Stein Erickson’s lodge in Deer Valley – The food and the views are amazing.

Well it is getting late – and I am thrilled that I was able to get my need for you all to have lovely brunch off my chest! Good Luck, and have wonderful Bliss on a Budget Brunch!

Bliss on a Budget - BaseBall Bliss

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I came from baseball stock. I can say that with big confidence because my grandfather Les Powers was in fact a professional ball player. A pitcher. He played for the San Francisco Seals (among others) the pre-cursor to the Giants. When I was a child my father would pull out old newspaper clippings of when my grandfather struck greats like Babe Ruth, and Lou Gehrig. At the time I didn’t quite understand who these men were – but as I got older this slice of history was something that I was particularly proud of. I remember going to visit my grandparents at “The River” (this is their home located on the Russian River, in Northern California- It is the closest spot to heaven on earth for me) and my grandfather would be sitting in his new-fangled chair – it vibrated and warmed up to relax his aching back from all the work he was doing around the house – watching the Giants on the small TV on the corner. I would plop down on the floor next to him, letting the cool breezes from the open screen door next to us; blow the smell of the redwoods, river and ocean into the room. He deeply involved in the game – maybe giving some advice from the chair, me sitting quietly by, playing cards – solitaire, making sure not to disturb.

My father was a baseball player as well. Although in his mid-teens he had to make a decision to play baseball or to continue to pursue swimming. I think we all know how that went. A great decision!! But regardless there he was, having no sons, and wanting to play catch. So I with my mitt and he with his would go out into the backyard where I would do my best to catch what I can only describe as “deadly fastballs” being thrown with all the fire that he could muster. When I caught the ball – My hand would immediately feel the sting and pain of the catch. When I wouldn’t- well those same balls would hit the wooden fence behind us – until one day the fence simply gave way. It could no longer stand under the hammering of the missed balls.

I had a very short lived career as a ball player. I think I played only two summers of softball. Maybe just one, around the age of 12 or 13. My team was the stingers. I was number 14 – My lucky number to this day. Although I must say they must have thought I was dreadful. I simply could not throw a softball to save my life. The baseballs I had thrown where small, these softballs were huge, and I was clumsy with them. I hated batting, I rarely took a swing. My thought was – well let’s hope for a walk. I always played right field (when I wasn’t sitting on the bench) and for the most part nothing really happened near me. So I didn’t cause the team a lot of strife or losses. I only remember one crowning moment when a fly ball quite literally soared out to where I was standing, and in my only moment of brilliance I actually caught the ball. It was like something out of a movie. Everyone cheered and acted like it was the most wonderful thing anyone had done ever. I even got an award at the team BBQ at the end of the season.\

Needless to say – I thought I was most likely the end of the line. But then Jackson my youngest met James. And they, as anyone who knows them knows, are a match made in heaven. Jackson is the ideal son for the dad, who wants to have a kid that loves sports, and wants to play them, and the cherry on top is that Jackson (even though every parent thinks their kid is great – in our case it is actually true) is really athletic. Jackson gets it! Jackson would play baseball (I am borrowing this from the movie Sandlot)”all day, all night, rain, shine, tidal wave, whatever” I often go into his to his room at night, and he will be fast asleep with his bat clutched in his arms. Jackson is a ball player!! Last year he was the only 7 year old on the All-Star team, and this year he is on, not only his little league team, but has already been selected to play on the All-Star team – So from now on, we will be playing a minimum of 4 games each and every week. Now this blog isn’t just a brag about Jackson – this blog is about doing blissful things on a budget.

Every year my family goes to Santa Cruz, CA and spends a week in a beach house there. When I say my family that means; my parents, my little family, and my sisters family. It is a trip we look forward to every year – and I could write a whole blog on just the beach – but it’s what we do on the way to the beach or depending on the way home from the beach. We go as a family to a giant’s game at ATT Park in San Francisco. This is quite possibly the best location in the world to go to a ballgame. It is right on the bay – and if you sit on the 3rd base side, you can watch the game and the boats drift through the ocean. It is freezing cold – and there is hot clam chowder in bread bowls to keep you warm, and the smell of the ocean, and the thrill of the crowd to fill your heart. This is quite possibly one of my most favorite things in the world to do. And here is the thing. It is affordable – the first year we went; we got tickets for a whopping $5.00 per seat.

Now I know that not everyone can go to San Fran and attend a Giants game, but there is baseball being played somewhere in your town. Maybe it’s a little league team, maybe a high school team or possibly college. Take out your old glove (you will need it to catch the fly balls) grabs your honey, or your kids, and head out to the game. Buy a hotdog, and peanuts or cracker jacks feel the sun on your face, cheer for the home team, get up in the 7th inning and sing your heart out.


“For its root, root, root for the home team,
if they don't win it's a shame.
For its one, two, three strikes, you're out,
at the old ball game."

Now go get your baseball bliss 

The Lynch Mob - Accountable Children

Accountability Matters

I was lynched last night. I have never been lynched before - So, as you can imagine it caught me off guard. I was just wrapping up my day at work, and there was a ring at the doorbell. This immediately caused me anxiety - because for the most part, people don't just drop by my house. It is usually some "at risk" youth who wants me to buy a magazine or chocolates to keep them off" the streets". Or worse the local church, trying to catch me at home, with assigned fellowship, which translates into woman who have been assigned to be my friend, deliver a "God loves you" message and attempt to encourage me to go to church. I am always polite if they catch me, and thank them for the homemade goodies (There is always homemade goodies - Marketing tip: I will need a lot more than food items to get me to go to church - that sounds jaded, but I am in sales, and can appreciate a good pitch) and do my best to end the conversation and send them on their way. But this ring at the doorbell was neither of these.

Kennedy - being much braver than I went to the door. After a brief conversation - she came upstairs with a strange look on her face, kind of confused, and kind of concerned - She said to me "they would like a parent of Jackson Light" - oh, okay - I guess that's me. I go downstairs to the door, and I am meet by two mothers and their two boys, one in 2nd grade and one in 3rd grade. The head woman in charge says to me - "we are here to figure out what happened on the bus today, and we would appreciate it, if you would get Jackson so we can talk to the both of you" At this point my initial thought is "oh no, what has Jackson done" but I walk out onto the front steps and shut the door behind me. I answer that Jackson is not home, he is playing with a friends - So, why don't you just tell me what happened.

The boys are looking really confident in the smack down they believe their mothers are going to give me. The spokeswoman speaks to me again -"Well there was a problem on the bus today, that involved Jackson, and because of Jackson, my son was man handled by the bus driver. The bus driver grabbed my son by the arm - and sat him down in his seat on the bus - apparently it was really Jackson who was the problem, and it is not okay, that my child was man handled, because of what your child did. We are here to sort this out" - She then turns to her child (Ben) and says - "tell her what happened on the bus." Ben - then gathers his wits about him, and says "Jackson hit me" The mothers and the boys then look at me, and wait for my response to this news. But instead of saying "oh you poor things, I am so sorry, are you okay?" - I do something that apparently none of them were expecting - I say, "why did Jackson hit you? What was happening" - The boys then tell me their version of the story....

"Well we were sitting on the bus, and we were sitting together, and Jackson would not get out of our seat, and then he just hit us" The Mothers continue to wait on what they think is the appropriate response - I have no idea what this is suppose to be, again - it's my first lynching, and I am not prepared (I am thinking at this point, that story does not add up) - about this time, Jackson walks up to the house. His friend had to do his homework, and was not able to play yet. Jackson has an odd look on his face, like mmm, what's all this about. I call out to him, "buddy - come over here, help me understand what happened today on the bus"

Jackson comes up to the steps and tells his version of the story - which goes like this....Well I was sitting in my assigned seat on the bus. The driver has asked me to sit in a specific seat, and Ben is suppose to sit in the seat with me, but today his friend (he points to the other kid who's mother is rolling her eyes, and is getting frustrated that this lynching is not going as planned) wants to sit in my seat with Ben, so he climbs over me, and seats in between Ben and me. They wanted me to leave the seat, so they starting bugging me to heck (that is how Jackson is prone to emphasis things - bugging me to heck) I interrupt at this point and say - "what does that mean?" Jackson says - "poking me in the back and yelling in my ear, and saying mean things to me - but I can't move mom, I am in my assigned seat, and if I move the bus driver will get mad at me" I turn to the boys and say "Is what he is saying accurate? Is this a case of you boys wanted to sit together and here is Jackson ruining everything" - They both say "yes" I then turn back to Jackson and say - then what happened and he says " I couldn't take it anymore and I slapped them" - The mothers look happy and slightly surprised that Jackson has so easily told me the truth. I look Jackson square in the eyes and I say "I don't care if they light your hair on fire, put gum on your seat, or worst of all - say they don't like BYU - you have to control your actions, and you can't hit them" Jackson says okay, and then turns to both the boys and says" I'm sorry." - The one mothers says, well maybe our boys shouldn't have egged him on - I turn to her, and say - I could care less what your boys have done, I care what my boy did, and I need him to learn to control himself, despite the circumstances. (Accountability)

I then turn to mothers and the boys and say "The reason why the bus driver probably took Jackson's side is this, Jackson greets the bus driver every morning with a "Good Morning, how are you this morning sir?" and when he drops Jackson off, Jackson turns to the driver and says" Thank you for the ride sir, have a great day!" Do either of you thank the driver? Both of the kids shake their heads no - Well if you want the driver to take your side, you should probably treat the driver with more respect. I then turn to the whole group, and say "Now, is there anything else you would like to tell me about Jackson?" - The whole group look slightly stunned, and says "no" - "Okay then" and Jackson I turn around and go back in the house.

I was positively shaking - I was so angry, of course it was wrong for Jackson to hit the kids, but those mothers had come to my door to lynch Jackson, and until I asked, they had not thought that there children had done anything. It was like they had assumed that Jackson had just smacked their boys out of the blue. Later as I recounted the story to James he was not shocked at all. He said to me, it's like children who are being raised right now, are being raised so entitled, their parents can't even see that their child is anything less then perfect.

The craziest thing to me was - If Jackson was beat up at school, or smacked on the bus, I would absolutely never show up at that kids house and demand to "discuss" the situation. Life is not fair, the only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation. I would have asked Jackson what he did to evoke the situation, and then I would have coached him on how not to get in that situation in the future. As well as - If a bus driver, or teacher, etc. Finds themselves in a situation where they need to grab your kids arm and put him in his seat - Why in the world didn't they ask their children what they had done to deserve this treatment.

I never realized how "old school" I am, but I tell you this. James and I are raising children who respect authority, who tell the truth (even when it gets them into trouble) who make bad decisions from time to time - and get to learn from those bad decisions. And will ultimately be better prepared for life, because we didn't go and fight there battles for them. Entitlement is killing the character of this generation and the next, and Accountability is non existent in all but a few homes in our area.

Of my soap box, just got done picking out the feathers from the tar.

Vanity Fair Bliss

I am a reader - I love to read. As most of you know, I travel a lot for work - I love it. I know some people think that traveling for work would be difficult, or thrilling, cool. I can tell you without a doubt it is all of those things - and sometimes worse or better. I have gypsy blood, and if I am home for more then about 3 weeks in a row, even James will turn to me and say "don't you think it is time you went somewhere?" I guess when I am not traveling I get a little grumpy.

What I love about traveling is seeing the country. I love the barns that dot the landscape across Ohio, I love the smell of the Northern Cal up to Seattle - You know the smell of moisture in the air. I love the Ocean, and the mountains. I love rental cars, they are always new, they get amazing gas mileage. I very rarely have the desire to buy a new car - because why bother, I am driving a new one every week. I love hotel rooms - I love the one's with make-up mirrors mounted in the bathroom, the desks with all the plugs right, and available. I love the points, oh how I love the points!! The points that give me status and make the hotels, rental car, and airlines treat me special - and like I matter more then other folks. The points that take me and the ones I love to other destinations - Did I mention I love the points.

I have a ritual when I travel. I go the airport and check in at the Kiosk (the ones for the important folks that have status - the ones without the lines :) ) I go through the short line in security, I am very good at security - I can get through with only 1 tub, no problems - no buzzers, no additional screening - this isn't my first rodeo. I then make a B-line to the Starbucks right after security, where I order my customary drink - triple grande, 1 pump, toffee nut, non-fat latte. Once this is handled I head to the magazine shop.

Now at the magazine shop I could do the responsible and reasonable thing, and I could pick up a magazine that talks about business or health care, etc. But I don't - I never work on the plane - it's terrible, but I never do. I grab People Magazine and US Weekly. And on the plane I read those magazines from cover to cover. They are complete fluff, have really no merit at all, and they are one of my most favorite guilty pleasures. I am usually pretty up to date on Hollywood gossip, and all things scandal. Now if I am flying towards the end of the month - that is when the new copy of Vanity Fair comes out. This is by far my favorite time of the month. I love Vanity Fair - more than you can possibly imagine. If you are not familiar with Vanity Fair - it is not even remotely a fashion magazine - it is like 60 minutes in magazine form.

Vanity Fair is where I learned about mortgage credit swap defaults, and the details of how Bernie Madoff spent billions of his clients money without getting caught for so many years, Vanity Fair is where learned of the Art world war, that is going on between the two major museums in Los Angeles, and hidden treasure (or missing treasure) or a ancient family in England. The history of Wikileaks, Sarah Palin, etc. I read Vanity Fair from cover to cover every month. It is my balance - it gives me information I hadn't even thought of looking into. I love it and for me it is bliss.

So here is my suggestion Go to a book store - You remember book stores - they are a wonderful place just chalk full of guilty pleasure. Like ice cream for your brain, without the sugar and the fat :) Or a library for that matter. Find a magazine or book something that isn't required, or full of the "should's" or "ought too's" and spend 20.00 or so. Draw yourself a bath, maybe even with those smelly salts and sink into your bath, or for that matter - get on that plane grab your magazine and enjoy the bliss.

Oscar Bliss on a Budget

I love movies. I mean I love movies. I don't just go to a movie, I experience the movie. It speaks to me - it was made specifically for me. I know that sounds crazy - but I feel movies more then most people. There are certain movies that are deal breakers for true friendship with me. ie: If you don't love and appreciate a specific movie the way I do - that may mean that you and I are not destine to be friends the way I thought we were suppose to be.

I remember the first time I felt a movie at a very core level. I have no idea why it struck me - but when I was younger (8 years old)there was a movie that came out that I could not shake for days. You will laugh or think I am strange when I say this - but Return to Witch Mountain hit me square in my heart. IFor those who have not seen it it is about a brother and sister from another planet who come here and their spaceship has problems or something like that. Anyway they have specials powers and are being chased by the government or an eccentric million - I can't even remember - the point is at the end of the movie they get back in the spaceship and head back home. What struck me was - I was convinced that they had left me behind - like i was from a different planet, and now I was stuck here without anyone really knowing who I was. I know - it's weird, I grew out of it.

Anyway a few years later I went on my yearly trip with my dad to California. My dad always took me on one of his trips to California or other destinations. It was a daddy daughter trip. I was the only one who went because my sister Emily was more of a mommas girl - and she had no desire to go. These trips were the best, because I got to meet people, feel important, and travel, eat at new places, etc. And sometimes go to movies that may or may not have been on the approved list should my mother have been present on the trip. On this particular trip I believe it was my 14th birthday and the movie Terms of Endearment had just come out. I got to go to this movie. It was the most amazing movie ever. I could barely get out of my seat when it concluded. I wanted more - I felt older and wiser just because I saw it. That year when the Oscar Night came around - I watched and for once I actually had seen one of the movies nominated - and my goodness did I root for it to win.

Since that time - I do my best every year to see all the movies that are nominated in the major categories - I want to be able to have my opinion mean something (if only to me) because I saw all the movies. I love the whole experience of seeing the movies, sitting in the darkened theater, maybe some popcorn (if it looks like the good kind- I could write a whole other blog just about that) picking just the right seat. The thing about my quest to see all the movies, is that generally the people in my life don't have any desire to see all the movies - Often they aren't even playing in nearby theaters - I have had to travel to see them in time. Once I was England during Oscar season - so I saw Shakespeare in Love in England with Kettle Corn by my side.

I love going to movies alone. There is no one there to change my experience of the film. No -" what's going on?" whispered in hushed tones, etc. Some folks don't like to go to movies alone - they feel weird or out of place, like every one's looking at them and thinking -" are they alone?" I could careless what people think. I love going alone. Feeling the movie, thinking what I think about it, having my own non-influenced opinion. So this week for your moment of bliss - Go see a movie - by yourself. In Salt Lake the Holladay Cinema's Six is the best. They are never over crowded and have really cheap tickets - There popcorn is by far the best!! the total cost will less then 20.00 (with treats) and you can have 2 hours of escape while enjoying one of this years Oscar contenders - May I suggest - The Kings Speech, or True Grit!!