Bliss On A Budget - Brunch Bliss

It’s that time again. The weather according to what I learned in grade school is going to warm up. You know – we all learned, April showers bring May flowers. Right?!! We were promised. I believed – thus, it is going to happen – I will simply will it. This is the time of year for eating on your deck or patio, for lovely potted plants to surround you, for new buds, and vines to emerge and spring forward with life - for the warmth of the sun to hit your shoulders and face and warm them up to just the right temperature – Not to hot, not to cold – Just right! There should be canvas umbrellas, and music to set the mood. Eating is not ever just about the food, eating is a celebration of the cook, of friends, family and life, and of course about lovely and yummy food. So in this vein, I am a big believer in Brunch. Brunch is the best way to start out any Saturday or Sunday – it is something that must be done during this time of year.

My mother is the Queen of setting a beautiful table. I have never been over to her house to eat a meal when the table wasn’t set, just right. We are not talking about just having the knives, forks, and napkins in the right place – we are talking about every table having a theme – At Christmas the table is set with the fine china, sterling silver, ornaments, candles, and napkins in the appropriate spirit don the table. The lighting is just right – the glasses are elegant – and just to be invited to the table – is to be valued and loved. At St. Patrick’s Day there are Irish prayers and poetry specifically picked out with each diner in mind, at Valentine’s Day – Hearts and Love letters abound. (When I was growing up on Valentine’s Day I would come down stairs to breakfast to be greeted by pink heart shaped pancakes – I know as always it sounds too good to be true) Always with the greatest care, always with the most beautiful presentation, the table is the foundation for the meal. A beautiful table is simply the only way to serve the gourmet food that she and my father are preparing away in their dream kitchen.

The food, oh the food, is quite another story – My mother and father are foodies. The watch cooking shows – in fact when I was a child my mother and I used to pretend to be on a cooking show when making cookies in our kitchen. She and I would talk to the “camera” and explain what we were making and doing step by step to the imaginary audience. Often speaking in fake French or Southern (I have no idea why we would do Southern – my southern accents makes my mother laugh and laugh – and once I have started I can’t stop – she on the other hand can’t do a southern accent to save her life) accents – Anyway, they watch cooking shows, and read cooking books – and although they will absolutely deny it – they attend a somewhat secret gourmet club – which is not as fancy as the one in the movie “The Freshmen” but when I picture it in my head, it is. They have friends that are foodies – and when they travel they like to eat at the most foodie – esq restaurants.

Now – not all of the food is successful – sometimes Tim and Patcee decide to go “off recipe” which can be a disaster, but can also turn out even better. So when you go to eat at my parents’ home – you are really in for a culinary experience. All this great food and lovely ambience has completely spoiled me. I have become a food snob. I didn’t mean to be, it just simply happened. I find myself trying to take over others peoples dinners to add the touches that I think are absolute staples if you are going to have people over to eat. Things like flowers, ribbon, napkins, etc. James – bless his heart (I have no idea when I started using that expression) does his best to talk me down with things like – “Jenn, it’s not your dinner” or “Jenn – If you bring your own glasses this evening – they will be offended” (which I am sure is very true – but come on people – certain drinks go in certain glasses – and if they aren’t – well it just doesn’t taste as good – and (see what I mean a food snob)) any way – in order to kind of get snobbery out of my system – I felt like today being Easter and all – would be a good day to give you your Bliss on a Budget Assignment – and this week is a Brunch Bliss.

But wait there are rules I want you to experience Brunch the right way (which means the Jenn way) – I have always been this way. When I was a little girl my mother took me to the park which had an enormous sand box. When I got to the sand box I immediately took off my shoes and shoved my bare feet into the cool grains of sand. I loved the way the sand felt on my toes and feet. My mother went nearby to a bench to read a book or something – and at that moment I located some other children to play with. But upon approaching them – I noticed that they all had their shoes and socks on still. This was something that I could not get my head around – How could they enjoy the sand with shoes on? Were they unaware of how wonderful the sand would feel on their feet? Well there was simply only one thing to do – We must remove their shoes and socks and give them this experience. At once I began taking off all their shoes and socks. Some enjoyed it; some were fearful and looked to the mothers to help stop this bossy toddler from taking their shoes. Finally – I had caused enough commotion that my mother realized this she would need to step in. The other mothers simply could not have her daughter taking off their children’s shoes.

My mother being the “diverter” that she is – simply grabbed my hand and offered a new adventure - probably something from the ice cream truck, or a ride on the city bus – and she and I were off to our next adventure forgetting about those poor children that didn’t understand the wonders of bare feet in sand. I actually never grew out of that one – when James and I went on our first vacation together we went to the beach in San Diego. I love to take off my shoes and walk for miles up and down the beach. James being an Idaho farm boy did not have what I would categorize as a “proper appreciation” for the beach. So when it was time to walk on the beach he was attempting to do so WITH his shoes on. I was astounded and slightly concerned that I could no longer love this man. So after I insisted (I am sure he was thinking I was a wack job – you walk around on a farm without shoes – you lose toes) he relented and walked, uncomfortably, down the beach holding his shoes. After some years – he learned that of course this is the only way to do it.

Back to brunch, you must be saying, back to brunch – Okay, so back to brunch. Here are the rules:
1- You cannot have brunch at a chain restaurant! I am not flexible on this – the food is always better at a one of kind, or mom and pop shop.
2- You must pick your companions for this brunch carefully. No one who is going to bring children who would disrupt, run around, cry tantrum, etc. You know who those people are and as much as you like them – they can’t come unless they are willing to leave the children home. Lovely, well mannered, children are always welcome.
3- You should pick some place where you would want to put some effort into what you are wearing. There is nothing worse than dinning at a lovely restaurant – and looking homeless. Your clothes must be ironed. Brunch is better when you are looking glamorous.
4- If at all possible pick a place with an outside patio or deck. If you need to call ahead and make reservations – then by all means do.
5- Sunglasses are a must, so is sunscreen – we don’t want to get wrinkles.
6-Don’t rush through your meal – You should be at brunch for 2 hours. This will allow you to enjoy a lovely meal, have some lovely conversation, and digest enough to share a dessert with the table.
7-After the brunch you should try to partake in some of the after brunch activities listed below:
a. Stroll through a local art gallery
b. Take in the shops in the area.
c. Attend a concert in a park or ski area
d. Read the newspaper (the paper kind) from back to front.
e. Get a massage or facial.
f. Make travel plans

I think that is all the rules – they after activities should be something you can enjoy with part of your brunch group. The point is Brunch should be a lovely experience, with a beautiful table, yummy and interesting food, great friends for conversation – and nothing that isn’t relaxing, and restful should be part of the process.

Now – If you are in SLC or Provo I have some tips on where to go. I can’t guarantee the whole tab will be under 50.00 but your portion should easily be. Here is where I suggest:
- Eggs in the City: (Limited seating, a popular favorite, so it makes sense to call and see when they would recommend that you come) – 1300 South and about 1700 East.
- Trio: There are two locations, one in the 9th and 9th area – and one at the bottom of cottonwood canyon.
- The Park Café: Liberty Park about 6th East and 11 south.
- Sundance: Up Provo Canyon the grill room is always lovely
- Stein Erickson’s lodge in Deer Valley – The food and the views are amazing.

Well it is getting late – and I am thrilled that I was able to get my need for you all to have lovely brunch off my chest! Good Luck, and have wonderful Bliss on a Budget Brunch!

Bliss on a Budget - BaseBall Bliss

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

I came from baseball stock. I can say that with big confidence because my grandfather Les Powers was in fact a professional ball player. A pitcher. He played for the San Francisco Seals (among others) the pre-cursor to the Giants. When I was a child my father would pull out old newspaper clippings of when my grandfather struck greats like Babe Ruth, and Lou Gehrig. At the time I didn’t quite understand who these men were – but as I got older this slice of history was something that I was particularly proud of. I remember going to visit my grandparents at “The River” (this is their home located on the Russian River, in Northern California- It is the closest spot to heaven on earth for me) and my grandfather would be sitting in his new-fangled chair – it vibrated and warmed up to relax his aching back from all the work he was doing around the house – watching the Giants on the small TV on the corner. I would plop down on the floor next to him, letting the cool breezes from the open screen door next to us; blow the smell of the redwoods, river and ocean into the room. He deeply involved in the game – maybe giving some advice from the chair, me sitting quietly by, playing cards – solitaire, making sure not to disturb.

My father was a baseball player as well. Although in his mid-teens he had to make a decision to play baseball or to continue to pursue swimming. I think we all know how that went. A great decision!! But regardless there he was, having no sons, and wanting to play catch. So I with my mitt and he with his would go out into the backyard where I would do my best to catch what I can only describe as “deadly fastballs” being thrown with all the fire that he could muster. When I caught the ball – My hand would immediately feel the sting and pain of the catch. When I wouldn’t- well those same balls would hit the wooden fence behind us – until one day the fence simply gave way. It could no longer stand under the hammering of the missed balls.

I had a very short lived career as a ball player. I think I played only two summers of softball. Maybe just one, around the age of 12 or 13. My team was the stingers. I was number 14 – My lucky number to this day. Although I must say they must have thought I was dreadful. I simply could not throw a softball to save my life. The baseballs I had thrown where small, these softballs were huge, and I was clumsy with them. I hated batting, I rarely took a swing. My thought was – well let’s hope for a walk. I always played right field (when I wasn’t sitting on the bench) and for the most part nothing really happened near me. So I didn’t cause the team a lot of strife or losses. I only remember one crowning moment when a fly ball quite literally soared out to where I was standing, and in my only moment of brilliance I actually caught the ball. It was like something out of a movie. Everyone cheered and acted like it was the most wonderful thing anyone had done ever. I even got an award at the team BBQ at the end of the season.\

Needless to say – I thought I was most likely the end of the line. But then Jackson my youngest met James. And they, as anyone who knows them knows, are a match made in heaven. Jackson is the ideal son for the dad, who wants to have a kid that loves sports, and wants to play them, and the cherry on top is that Jackson (even though every parent thinks their kid is great – in our case it is actually true) is really athletic. Jackson gets it! Jackson would play baseball (I am borrowing this from the movie Sandlot)”all day, all night, rain, shine, tidal wave, whatever” I often go into his to his room at night, and he will be fast asleep with his bat clutched in his arms. Jackson is a ball player!! Last year he was the only 7 year old on the All-Star team, and this year he is on, not only his little league team, but has already been selected to play on the All-Star team – So from now on, we will be playing a minimum of 4 games each and every week. Now this blog isn’t just a brag about Jackson – this blog is about doing blissful things on a budget.

Every year my family goes to Santa Cruz, CA and spends a week in a beach house there. When I say my family that means; my parents, my little family, and my sisters family. It is a trip we look forward to every year – and I could write a whole blog on just the beach – but it’s what we do on the way to the beach or depending on the way home from the beach. We go as a family to a giant’s game at ATT Park in San Francisco. This is quite possibly the best location in the world to go to a ballgame. It is right on the bay – and if you sit on the 3rd base side, you can watch the game and the boats drift through the ocean. It is freezing cold – and there is hot clam chowder in bread bowls to keep you warm, and the smell of the ocean, and the thrill of the crowd to fill your heart. This is quite possibly one of my most favorite things in the world to do. And here is the thing. It is affordable – the first year we went; we got tickets for a whopping $5.00 per seat.

Now I know that not everyone can go to San Fran and attend a Giants game, but there is baseball being played somewhere in your town. Maybe it’s a little league team, maybe a high school team or possibly college. Take out your old glove (you will need it to catch the fly balls) grabs your honey, or your kids, and head out to the game. Buy a hotdog, and peanuts or cracker jacks feel the sun on your face, cheer for the home team, get up in the 7th inning and sing your heart out.


“For its root, root, root for the home team,
if they don't win it's a shame.
For its one, two, three strikes, you're out,
at the old ball game."

Now go get your baseball bliss 

The Lynch Mob - Accountable Children

Accountability Matters

I was lynched last night. I have never been lynched before - So, as you can imagine it caught me off guard. I was just wrapping up my day at work, and there was a ring at the doorbell. This immediately caused me anxiety - because for the most part, people don't just drop by my house. It is usually some "at risk" youth who wants me to buy a magazine or chocolates to keep them off" the streets". Or worse the local church, trying to catch me at home, with assigned fellowship, which translates into woman who have been assigned to be my friend, deliver a "God loves you" message and attempt to encourage me to go to church. I am always polite if they catch me, and thank them for the homemade goodies (There is always homemade goodies - Marketing tip: I will need a lot more than food items to get me to go to church - that sounds jaded, but I am in sales, and can appreciate a good pitch) and do my best to end the conversation and send them on their way. But this ring at the doorbell was neither of these.

Kennedy - being much braver than I went to the door. After a brief conversation - she came upstairs with a strange look on her face, kind of confused, and kind of concerned - She said to me "they would like a parent of Jackson Light" - oh, okay - I guess that's me. I go downstairs to the door, and I am meet by two mothers and their two boys, one in 2nd grade and one in 3rd grade. The head woman in charge says to me - "we are here to figure out what happened on the bus today, and we would appreciate it, if you would get Jackson so we can talk to the both of you" At this point my initial thought is "oh no, what has Jackson done" but I walk out onto the front steps and shut the door behind me. I answer that Jackson is not home, he is playing with a friends - So, why don't you just tell me what happened.

The boys are looking really confident in the smack down they believe their mothers are going to give me. The spokeswoman speaks to me again -"Well there was a problem on the bus today, that involved Jackson, and because of Jackson, my son was man handled by the bus driver. The bus driver grabbed my son by the arm - and sat him down in his seat on the bus - apparently it was really Jackson who was the problem, and it is not okay, that my child was man handled, because of what your child did. We are here to sort this out" - She then turns to her child (Ben) and says - "tell her what happened on the bus." Ben - then gathers his wits about him, and says "Jackson hit me" The mothers and the boys then look at me, and wait for my response to this news. But instead of saying "oh you poor things, I am so sorry, are you okay?" - I do something that apparently none of them were expecting - I say, "why did Jackson hit you? What was happening" - The boys then tell me their version of the story....

"Well we were sitting on the bus, and we were sitting together, and Jackson would not get out of our seat, and then he just hit us" The Mothers continue to wait on what they think is the appropriate response - I have no idea what this is suppose to be, again - it's my first lynching, and I am not prepared (I am thinking at this point, that story does not add up) - about this time, Jackson walks up to the house. His friend had to do his homework, and was not able to play yet. Jackson has an odd look on his face, like mmm, what's all this about. I call out to him, "buddy - come over here, help me understand what happened today on the bus"

Jackson comes up to the steps and tells his version of the story - which goes like this....Well I was sitting in my assigned seat on the bus. The driver has asked me to sit in a specific seat, and Ben is suppose to sit in the seat with me, but today his friend (he points to the other kid who's mother is rolling her eyes, and is getting frustrated that this lynching is not going as planned) wants to sit in my seat with Ben, so he climbs over me, and seats in between Ben and me. They wanted me to leave the seat, so they starting bugging me to heck (that is how Jackson is prone to emphasis things - bugging me to heck) I interrupt at this point and say - "what does that mean?" Jackson says - "poking me in the back and yelling in my ear, and saying mean things to me - but I can't move mom, I am in my assigned seat, and if I move the bus driver will get mad at me" I turn to the boys and say "Is what he is saying accurate? Is this a case of you boys wanted to sit together and here is Jackson ruining everything" - They both say "yes" I then turn back to Jackson and say - then what happened and he says " I couldn't take it anymore and I slapped them" - The mothers look happy and slightly surprised that Jackson has so easily told me the truth. I look Jackson square in the eyes and I say "I don't care if they light your hair on fire, put gum on your seat, or worst of all - say they don't like BYU - you have to control your actions, and you can't hit them" Jackson says okay, and then turns to both the boys and says" I'm sorry." - The one mothers says, well maybe our boys shouldn't have egged him on - I turn to her, and say - I could care less what your boys have done, I care what my boy did, and I need him to learn to control himself, despite the circumstances. (Accountability)

I then turn to mothers and the boys and say "The reason why the bus driver probably took Jackson's side is this, Jackson greets the bus driver every morning with a "Good Morning, how are you this morning sir?" and when he drops Jackson off, Jackson turns to the driver and says" Thank you for the ride sir, have a great day!" Do either of you thank the driver? Both of the kids shake their heads no - Well if you want the driver to take your side, you should probably treat the driver with more respect. I then turn to the whole group, and say "Now, is there anything else you would like to tell me about Jackson?" - The whole group look slightly stunned, and says "no" - "Okay then" and Jackson I turn around and go back in the house.

I was positively shaking - I was so angry, of course it was wrong for Jackson to hit the kids, but those mothers had come to my door to lynch Jackson, and until I asked, they had not thought that there children had done anything. It was like they had assumed that Jackson had just smacked their boys out of the blue. Later as I recounted the story to James he was not shocked at all. He said to me, it's like children who are being raised right now, are being raised so entitled, their parents can't even see that their child is anything less then perfect.

The craziest thing to me was - If Jackson was beat up at school, or smacked on the bus, I would absolutely never show up at that kids house and demand to "discuss" the situation. Life is not fair, the only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation. I would have asked Jackson what he did to evoke the situation, and then I would have coached him on how not to get in that situation in the future. As well as - If a bus driver, or teacher, etc. Finds themselves in a situation where they need to grab your kids arm and put him in his seat - Why in the world didn't they ask their children what they had done to deserve this treatment.

I never realized how "old school" I am, but I tell you this. James and I are raising children who respect authority, who tell the truth (even when it gets them into trouble) who make bad decisions from time to time - and get to learn from those bad decisions. And will ultimately be better prepared for life, because we didn't go and fight there battles for them. Entitlement is killing the character of this generation and the next, and Accountability is non existent in all but a few homes in our area.

Of my soap box, just got done picking out the feathers from the tar.

Vanity Fair Bliss

I am a reader - I love to read. As most of you know, I travel a lot for work - I love it. I know some people think that traveling for work would be difficult, or thrilling, cool. I can tell you without a doubt it is all of those things - and sometimes worse or better. I have gypsy blood, and if I am home for more then about 3 weeks in a row, even James will turn to me and say "don't you think it is time you went somewhere?" I guess when I am not traveling I get a little grumpy.

What I love about traveling is seeing the country. I love the barns that dot the landscape across Ohio, I love the smell of the Northern Cal up to Seattle - You know the smell of moisture in the air. I love the Ocean, and the mountains. I love rental cars, they are always new, they get amazing gas mileage. I very rarely have the desire to buy a new car - because why bother, I am driving a new one every week. I love hotel rooms - I love the one's with make-up mirrors mounted in the bathroom, the desks with all the plugs right, and available. I love the points, oh how I love the points!! The points that give me status and make the hotels, rental car, and airlines treat me special - and like I matter more then other folks. The points that take me and the ones I love to other destinations - Did I mention I love the points.

I have a ritual when I travel. I go the airport and check in at the Kiosk (the ones for the important folks that have status - the ones without the lines :) ) I go through the short line in security, I am very good at security - I can get through with only 1 tub, no problems - no buzzers, no additional screening - this isn't my first rodeo. I then make a B-line to the Starbucks right after security, where I order my customary drink - triple grande, 1 pump, toffee nut, non-fat latte. Once this is handled I head to the magazine shop.

Now at the magazine shop I could do the responsible and reasonable thing, and I could pick up a magazine that talks about business or health care, etc. But I don't - I never work on the plane - it's terrible, but I never do. I grab People Magazine and US Weekly. And on the plane I read those magazines from cover to cover. They are complete fluff, have really no merit at all, and they are one of my most favorite guilty pleasures. I am usually pretty up to date on Hollywood gossip, and all things scandal. Now if I am flying towards the end of the month - that is when the new copy of Vanity Fair comes out. This is by far my favorite time of the month. I love Vanity Fair - more than you can possibly imagine. If you are not familiar with Vanity Fair - it is not even remotely a fashion magazine - it is like 60 minutes in magazine form.

Vanity Fair is where I learned about mortgage credit swap defaults, and the details of how Bernie Madoff spent billions of his clients money without getting caught for so many years, Vanity Fair is where learned of the Art world war, that is going on between the two major museums in Los Angeles, and hidden treasure (or missing treasure) or a ancient family in England. The history of Wikileaks, Sarah Palin, etc. I read Vanity Fair from cover to cover every month. It is my balance - it gives me information I hadn't even thought of looking into. I love it and for me it is bliss.

So here is my suggestion Go to a book store - You remember book stores - they are a wonderful place just chalk full of guilty pleasure. Like ice cream for your brain, without the sugar and the fat :) Or a library for that matter. Find a magazine or book something that isn't required, or full of the "should's" or "ought too's" and spend 20.00 or so. Draw yourself a bath, maybe even with those smelly salts and sink into your bath, or for that matter - get on that plane grab your magazine and enjoy the bliss.

Oscar Bliss on a Budget

I love movies. I mean I love movies. I don't just go to a movie, I experience the movie. It speaks to me - it was made specifically for me. I know that sounds crazy - but I feel movies more then most people. There are certain movies that are deal breakers for true friendship with me. ie: If you don't love and appreciate a specific movie the way I do - that may mean that you and I are not destine to be friends the way I thought we were suppose to be.

I remember the first time I felt a movie at a very core level. I have no idea why it struck me - but when I was younger (8 years old)there was a movie that came out that I could not shake for days. You will laugh or think I am strange when I say this - but Return to Witch Mountain hit me square in my heart. IFor those who have not seen it it is about a brother and sister from another planet who come here and their spaceship has problems or something like that. Anyway they have specials powers and are being chased by the government or an eccentric million - I can't even remember - the point is at the end of the movie they get back in the spaceship and head back home. What struck me was - I was convinced that they had left me behind - like i was from a different planet, and now I was stuck here without anyone really knowing who I was. I know - it's weird, I grew out of it.

Anyway a few years later I went on my yearly trip with my dad to California. My dad always took me on one of his trips to California or other destinations. It was a daddy daughter trip. I was the only one who went because my sister Emily was more of a mommas girl - and she had no desire to go. These trips were the best, because I got to meet people, feel important, and travel, eat at new places, etc. And sometimes go to movies that may or may not have been on the approved list should my mother have been present on the trip. On this particular trip I believe it was my 14th birthday and the movie Terms of Endearment had just come out. I got to go to this movie. It was the most amazing movie ever. I could barely get out of my seat when it concluded. I wanted more - I felt older and wiser just because I saw it. That year when the Oscar Night came around - I watched and for once I actually had seen one of the movies nominated - and my goodness did I root for it to win.

Since that time - I do my best every year to see all the movies that are nominated in the major categories - I want to be able to have my opinion mean something (if only to me) because I saw all the movies. I love the whole experience of seeing the movies, sitting in the darkened theater, maybe some popcorn (if it looks like the good kind- I could write a whole other blog just about that) picking just the right seat. The thing about my quest to see all the movies, is that generally the people in my life don't have any desire to see all the movies - Often they aren't even playing in nearby theaters - I have had to travel to see them in time. Once I was England during Oscar season - so I saw Shakespeare in Love in England with Kettle Corn by my side.

I love going to movies alone. There is no one there to change my experience of the film. No -" what's going on?" whispered in hushed tones, etc. Some folks don't like to go to movies alone - they feel weird or out of place, like every one's looking at them and thinking -" are they alone?" I could careless what people think. I love going alone. Feeling the movie, thinking what I think about it, having my own non-influenced opinion. So this week for your moment of bliss - Go see a movie - by yourself. In Salt Lake the Holladay Cinema's Six is the best. They are never over crowded and have really cheap tickets - There popcorn is by far the best!! the total cost will less then 20.00 (with treats) and you can have 2 hours of escape while enjoying one of this years Oscar contenders - May I suggest - The Kings Speech, or True Grit!!

Bliss on a Budget - Week #7

Giving Bliss

I am a giver - I know that sounds a little full of myself - but none the less, it is true - I am a giver. I think that I am a giver because I remember not having and how scary it can be to not have - I hate the feeling of not having enough. Now when I say enough, I mean enough money to keep the lights turned on or food to eat, etc. I have definitely been there.

When I was married to my first husband we lived on 30.00 a week for food. This was in 1991 and it was us and Keaton we were feeding on 30.00 a week - so as you can imagine we had some creativity when it came to making due - the first year of that marriage I would go down to my parents house for Sunday dinner- often on fumes and load up with canned products from their cupboards, and from their version of food storage - which is compared to the Johnson clan is pitiful. They never said a word - I am sure they noticed the cans of corn or soup go missing - but I was too proud and embarrassed to ask. I had made my bed - I was going to lie in it if it killed me. We were so poor that we could not afford a telephone (this was before everyone and their dog had a cell phone) and so I was stuck making collect calls at the pay phone by the corner of the apartment whose rent I could barely afford.I am sure we qualified for food stamps or something - but again - no dice - I was not going to do that.

Once again - I have to give credit where credit is due. I grew up in a family that seemed to have everything. This based on two things; First my father had a job that always supplied him with a new car, and a travel budget - so we could travel along on my fathers recruiting trips while also earning points to travel some more (I am a second generation Delta, Marriott, and Hertz member :) ) and also due in large part to my mother who could budget like no ones business. She had these little 3X5 cards that she would put the budget's on for the month - you know like food with $X amount of dollars and when the food budget was gone the food budget was gone - same with clothes, utilities etc. If it wasn't in the budget - we were generally not going to get it. She was also an excellent saver and a great balance to my father who, like me, is a spender. For those of you with a movie musical background - think Barbara Streisand as Dolly Levi - in Hello Dolly - This is me, in various ways.

Back to my giving ways - Since that time of meager beginnings - I have worked hard and put myself in a position that for the most part my worries relative to money are silly compared to many of the people in my life. I really am completely blessed - and I also have a very interesting relationship with money -knock on wood this doesn't jinx me - but I simply believe that whatever I am going to need is going to be there. This is not to be confused with just planning on the government, my family, or the universe to take care of me - It's just I know I am capable of making money - so when I need to make some money - I do.

Now Christmas is a particularly difficult time for me. This again goes back to my parents (sorry guys I don't mean to throw you under the bus) But when I was younger and when I say younger I mean I had a visit from Santa every year until I got married at 20. And Santa treated me very well. I had picture perfect Christmas's - with pajamas on Christmas eve (our one gift we were allowed to open - often made by my mother) and a morning of delight with nicely laid out piles of presents one for me, and one for Emily - and for the most part Santa got those presents just right - Often they would have presents we didn't even know we needed. The house would smell of wassail, and the lights would glow and we would take our time opening each gift and delighting in what each of had been given by the other folks who had sent presents our way. There would be a fire in the fireplace that my father would make sure and dispose of the wrapping paper - and that morning there would be no fighting, no crying, just peace and love. It breaks my heart that isn't how Christmas is for absolutely everyone on the planet.

Anyway - so I am giver, not just on Christmas but most of the time - because in some small way - there but for the grace of God go I - and you can't take it with you - and frankly when I give - even though it ends up making the person I am giving to happy or relieved or whatever - it truly makes me about 10 times happier then it makes them. So with all that said let me tell you what your assignment is this week regarding the bliss of giving.

You need to find 3 people and give them something - and here is the catch - it doesn't have to cost you anything. Maybe it's a compliment. I know when I give them out - they are so heartfelt and authentic that people really enjoy them (I think this is also because I tend to be hyper critical and set standards that are crazy high and unattainable) Maybe it is forgiveness - this is huge, I also have hard time with this - because when you have crossed me - it is next to impossible to get back in my light - but recently I gave forgiveness to someone (who probably had no idea they even needed it) but I felt 100% better. Maybe you sit next to someone in the lunch room or break room that doesn't have any friends and spend the 1/2 hour talking about them - Kennedy does a wonderful job at this - finding the misfit and fitting them. Maybe it is a love letter to your honey, your mother, your father you child telling them how great they are. Maybe like the mayor I am married to - you stop and pick up the hitchhiker - pull the car out of the snow - listen to the down on your luck story. But do your best to give this week, and see if you don't feel the bliss - This one comes with a money back guarantee!

Things that Matter #3 - Friendship Matters

I know I haven't written for 2 weeks but with the holidays, work, and blah, blah, blah - the truth is I am very busy and important ;) - anyway I just spent the weekend in Saint George with my mans softball team and I thought it might be time to write a little bit about friendship.

I am one of those people who doesn't have a lot of friends - this always amazes the people who think they know me because for heavens sakes Jenn - you're in sales - of course you have a lot of friends. Well I guess I should start by defining friendship - My friends are the people I can totally be myself with, who understand all my weirdness and instead of judging me or trying to fix me, really just get a kick out of me - and believe me - I pretend I am easy breezy, but I am a control freak! They are the people who I may have talked to yesterday or maybe 5 years ago - and it's like no time has passed. They live in Utah and various states around the country - and our connections are deep and immediate. They know what I am thinking before I have chance to think it, and I know the same for them - and when we get together we have an absolutely delightful time being in our strangeness. Intimacy defines our friendships - We "get" each other!

I am also one of those girls who doesn't have a lot of friendships with other girls - The reason for this is I don't like to get together to complain about and/or worship my husband. I don't scrapbook, swap recipes, exercise in groups, diet in groups - feel the need to shop together, play bunco, attend movies such as the Twilight series, Sex in the City or Mama Mia - I don't throw parties that are an excuse to sell things to my friends - I am in general not very interested in all things girl - I am however very interested in most things boy - So I find I have more male friends then female friends.

I am married to a man I like to call "the mayor" - and he has quite literally 100's of friends - So many in fact that regardless of where we go or what we are doing - we will see tons of people he knows - he often times can't recall at the moment who they are - he does know he knows them and they talk like no time has past - while I sit there and look interested and not embarrassed that I haven't been introduced. James is the kind of man who when he is friends he is friends and there is almost nothing he wouldn't do for his friends - He has been helped beyond measure at low points of his life and in his mind he has a moral duty to be that friend forever!

Over the last 2 weeks I have had 3 very intense friend experiences. First, one of my oldest and dearest friends came to stay with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. He is the closest thing in the world I have to a brother. When we are together we fall into step like peanut butter and jelly. It can be intimidating for others in our lives because we are that in sync. It is so lovely and therapeutic for me, and I often travel to his house to take a break from my real life and gain sanctuary from my troubles. He feeds my soul - and it was lovely to have a chance to return the favor. I love him from the tips of my toes, and now my children love him too, and my man is thrilled that I have that friendship in my life.

The second came when I went to Boise this past week to speak at a conference. I have a girlfriend there who I have known for 25 years - She and I haven't spoken in a year - and all I did was call her, and with that we were deep in conversation, analysis laughing - have our fix of being heard and hearing each other as well. She is deep in the fight/battle/ divorce - but for the night she could tell me "how it was" and I was able to really hear and feel her - and maybe even give her some comic relief. We left with a hug, and I call you later - which may be 6 months or 6 years from now - but we get it - no worries.

The final tale comes from my new adopted "kids" of Dirthouse. Oh my goodness I love them so much I can hardly stand it. They are new friends - and came by way of the mayor. When James and I got together 4+ years ago he told me 2 things when we became serious. 1 - he goes hunting every year for a week - so don't think that is going to change. 2- He plays softball on a some coed teams and that will take 2-3 nights a week - so be prepared for that. I could get my head around the first one - but the 2nd one I had no idea what that meant. I found out soon enough.

My first experience with softball came on the heels (literally) of working in Park City for the day. I came straight from work and was dressed in a black pin stripped pencil shirt, micro fishnets, 4 and 1/2 heels a creme sleeveless blouse with a large black pashmina, and big black Jackie-O sunglasses. I remember walking up to the ball field, feeling very uncomfortable, searching for James and hoping not to get into a situation I would have to get out of quickly - because in these shoes and skirt I was not moving fast. It was April - and spring ball had just started for the year, there was a coolness in the air, and the voices of friends finding each other after a few months off. Softball is a sub-culture that I knew nothing about - but they are a tight nit family regardless of the team - and the first week of softball is kind of like a family Reunion. I remember distinctly watching the woman softball players eyeing me, and giving each other looks like "check out this girl - what on earth is she wearing" - James was almost embarrassed because I was so over dressed and fancy - and he really wanted these same girls, this extended family, to like me.

I sat there during that first game watching James pitching, cheering when I thought it was appropriate - asking questions of the people who seemed friendly to figure out the rules, and generally just making it through - but that was just the first day - there have been 100's of games since then and now I am an old pro at the softball circuit. Cut to this last weekend when "Dirthouse" competing in the toys for tots tournament. We ended up coming in 2nd out of 84 teams - which is a slight miracle because of the start we had -but the important part was I got to the spend the weekend with my friends. These people are not just friends they are family - they stay with me when I act like a princess requesting my goat cheese on my pizzas, and staying at my hotel. They are okay when I scream my guts out at the ref or say weird things to the other team to get in their heads and make them swing at pitches they have no business swinging at. They tease me, and take care of me and indulge me when I try to run their love lives and give them job and life advise. They laugh at me and my pashmina, glasses, and my east side mentality - and they make me feel proud to be their friend. I know if anything happened they would have my back and I would have theirs.

I have a saying I live by "Like energy attracts like energy" and these friends are my like energy - they are my family, and when I am with them I feel like home. During this holiday season - thank you my dear friends for being in my life!!